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Help Strawberry's Motivation...

INTRODUCTION
This thread's purpose is to help boost my motivation, by helping my creativity. Got a favorite story? Tell me! Know which one intrigues you, but could use work? Tell me that too! Like my character design/backgrounds or just the story in general? You know the drill. XD

One last thing. Tell me how I should present a particular story. Like as a game, book, graphic novel, etc.

Basically, just help me out. ^^;

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STORY
Surrounded by pirate-infested waters, humans are forced to live on the Mainland - most of them too scared to explore the rest of the world. Known to man are two races: Earthborn and Windkiin. A judge, known only for his power, begins an expedition in the seas. Comette - a young noble - mourns for her fiance who never showed up on at their wedding. When her parents find her new future husband, she flees from home. A clue leading her to her fiance, causes Comette to go on a search for him.

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LADY COMETTE
Age: 20
Race: Windkiin
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 132 lbs
Occupation: Noble
Weapon:
The youngest child of House *blank*, and niece to King Charles Kinsbury of Albannia. She detests the lady-like mannerisms and activities that are expected of her. Comette tends to do things excessively, such as keeping all her clothes and items in certain places. Due to an accident years ago, her wings are paralyzed.

IDEA 2

STORY
Deep within a seemingly enchanted forest, sits the peaceful village of Feywood - a hamlet protected by a barrier. On the day of young Amarira's birthday, she is kidnapped by young dragonic man named Draig and is taken outside of the village for the first time.

528727114.png

AMARIRA ELERETH
Age: 16
Race:
Height: 5'0"
Weight: 98 lbs
Occupation: Unemployed
Weapon: 1-handed sword
Amarira is the only child of farmers. She is often found alone, playing with the local animals or her friends. Curious about the outside world, she has a great sense of adventure, though she is scared of leaving everyone behind.

jh7p5t.png


STORY
The world of Xale is a planet ruled by beings known as Divinities - spirits that control the weather. When one dies or passes on their duties, a new one is created using a powerful soul contained in a Ghost Crystal. Divinities fall asleep during seasons that go against what they create. They normally slumber in shrines across the world, only woken up by the voice of a Stonesinger Maiden.

Recently, Maidens who have ventured into the shrines have not returned.

The story follows Aelina Rowan, a bard living in the Archipelago of Icespire, in the village of Evertear. After being arrested for Necromancy and escorted to the castle, she is appointed the new Stonesinger Maiden.

Along with Narie Tearwyn, the twin sister of the last known Maiden for the Divinity of Gale from the Kono Highlands, Aelina will investigate the mysterious disappearances of the last several Maidens.

Aelina.png

AELINA ROWAN
Age: 20
Race: Frost Sidhe
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 114 lbs
Occupation: Bard
Weapon: Death Scythe
The heroine of the story, Aelina is a songstress working at the local lodge in Evertear of the Icespire Archipelago. She enjoys baking sweets and gardening in her free time. She reluctantly becomes the next Stonesinger Maiden. Aelina is a very affectionate woman who is thoughtful and generous towards others, caring about their feelings. Although she has a seemingly soft and gentle disposition, something is odd about her - as at times she can be quite sarcastic with her creepy sense of humor.

IDEA 4

STORY
There was a gentle widower who had married a fiercly independent woman as his second wife - who had a daughter who was just as haughty as her mother. From his first wife, however, the man had a young daughter with a sweet disposition. After his death, the young girl was forced to work for her stepmother and sister for a small amount of food. With revenge, the daughter set their house on fire, killing the horrible stepmother. Several years later, she turned her revenge on the sister...

Ery.png

ERY MONTROSE
Age: 23
Race: Human
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 134 lbs
Occupation:
Weapon: Bow and dagger
Once a girl with a soft disposition, Ery is now a grown woman with a deep hatred against others. The only person she seems to love and care about, is her husband - Ser Calden Ironmark, whom she met at a ball years earlier. After her love embarks for a war and never returns, she embarks on a journey to find him.

memoirsofvalena.png


STORY
Set in the fantasy world of Valena, the Royal City of Launus is the lively capital of the Ebion continent, ruled by King *blank* Natheen. Crime is a common occurance in the city, making Rysen Dalargo a busy man. After a chance encounter with a young priestess named Lyn Allura and her best friend Auluna Sanette, the three of them work together to solve mysteries and uphold the Law.All who disobey the Law, must answer to the Knight Commander, Kran Hunter. Those that do not answer their crimes...

Lyn.png

LYNETTE "LYN" ALLURA
Age: 19
Race: Ameeko
Height: 3'6"
Weight: 35 lbs
Occupation: Priestess
Weapon: 1-handed sword
The daughter of infamous thieves that were recently caught, Lyn is just as greedy as her parents. Even so, she strongly believes in the Goddess and became a priestess to serve her, and there she became best friends with a halfling girl.

Corinne.png

CORINNE RAUTIO
Age: 23
Race: Faerune
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 137 lbs
Occupation: Courier
Weapon: Staff
She is the protaganist of the events that occur before Memoirs of Valena, and the daughter of a blacksmith and weaver. Corinne has been known to be flirtatious towards various males, using her voluptous body to get what she desires.

IDEA 6

STORY
The year is 2076, and nuclear explosions has expanded across all of America - mutating animals and making humans insane, even superhuman like. Those that were hidden away in shelters, try to live a normal life as best as they can inside cities surrounded by large walls.

Mina.png

MINA WINTERS
Age: 15
Race: Human
Height: 5'1"
Weight: 120 lbs
Occupation: Student
Weapon: N/A
Mina lived a normal life until she was ten years old, when a diseased musquito bit her - causing her to become ill. Now she takes monthly injections to prevent mutation. She is currently studying to be a doctor and plays the flute in her school band.

IDEA 7

STORY
Ages ago, gods created and ruled the Earth. However, their leader, Zeus caused a massive war between the gods, which eventually destroyed all of them. Now, in the modern era, there signs of a new Zeus rising...

Illenia.png

Age: 24
Race: Human
Height: 5'5"
Weight: 124 lbs
Occupation: Student (studying to be a laywer)
Weapon:
A stoic and stern college student who lives with her mother, stepfather and younger sister, Nelly. She later finds out she is the reincarnated Persephone. She enjoys reading about history and science.
 
Well just my opinions here but:
I don't quite like Idea 6 because It's a cliche and too much like fallout 3 with the super mutants and the vaults and and the nuclear explosion and so on
I'm not too sure about idea 7, I mean it's original but it doesn't have much too it if you know what I mean, because if zeus killed all the Gods he wouldn't have anyone to kill so why would he come back?
Anyway, as for Idea 2, it seems like an an interesting concept but if the village of "Feywood" is protected by a barrier, how would someone get through and kidnap someone?
I like Idea 5, but why would a king have to up hold the law himself?, doesn't he have police for that?
I don't have any problems with Idea 1 ;)

I hope this helps, If i'm wrong about anything please tell me
 
I feel like a lot of the plot choices are a little overly dramatic. I'm assuming you're working with small little RTP sprites, right? If so, drama isn't really suited.

You have to be careful when using female protagonists as main characters -- it's still mostly guys who play games, and if they're forced to be a female protagonist, they're going to want one who is strong, not a pushover at all (but not a she-ra man-hater, either). Consider female lead protagonists of popular games ...:
- Lara Croft (ignore the boobage) -- her personality is extremely strong, and she has a "I don't even give a shit" demeanor, while being cucumber-cool ala 007.
- Female Commander Shepard (ignore that her lines are MOSTLY the same as male-Shepard's) -- Again, strong, independent, and "I'mma get shit DONE, son" demeanor.
- Faith (Mirror's Edge) -- Strong, independent, unwilling to back down. Not very chatty. Just DOES shit.
- Joanna Dark (Perfect Dark) -- Again, same characteristics.
- Jill Valentine -- Again. You see where I'm going.

I'm not saying you need to make your character another Lara Croft or Jill Valentine, but players just won't stand for being a chick who is soft and reconsiders everything and feels sad etc.


I think that, as a player, I could like Lyn, Corinne, Lady Comette, or possibly Mina (though her portrait implies she's scared/weak) or the girl in Plot 7 (couldn't find a name).
I would probably not be a fan of having Amarira, Aelina, or Ery as a main character (though they may make okay party members).


As for the plots, a lot of them feel kind of cliche (don't be down about it; it's hard NOT to come up with a cliche'd idea for an RPG anymore). Plots 1, 5, and 6 sound the most interesting, so long as you don't make them all about ~*~love~*~ or ~*~fancy magic~*~ or ~*~feelings~*~ etc.

<3 Good luck Strawberry <3
 
Thank you for the input, Ven!

And hearts. <3

I'll keep them in mind, but I wanted to let you know most of these are not for games. They're for like books and comics. Only Ghost Shards is being made into a game, and yesh Aelina is the main character. ;_; Can't change it now, it's too far into production, but if the plot was okay, I'd use it for something else.

I'm actually going to have most of these re-written up as I forgot some major plot points in some. Oops.

But I thank you SO MUCH, for responding. It helps me to keep on trucking, you know? ^^
 
Didn't realize these could potentially be for stories or comics.

I'd personally say my critique still applies for comics, but not necessarily for stories. In a story, you can have a protagonist who is outwardly weak, but offer insight into their thoughts & emotions to make them more interesting. So in that case, a lot of the characters could apply.

(I read a graphic novel once with a weak male protagonist, but ... Well, it read more like a novel than a comic, and was BEAUTIFULLY done, so it was fine in that instance.)

Still like plots 1, 5, and 6 the most.
 
In regards to Venetia's comment about having a strong female protagonist, I feel that said female doesn't need to be physically strong either. She could be someone strong in her will, like Yuna in FF10 and Terra in FF6. And for the male players, have some wicked characteristics about them (cute girl with a scythe, cute girl with guns etc).
 
These three stories below are each set in the same universe - the Ghost Shards universe that is.

Ghost Shards ~Prelude~
[A spoiler-filled story that takes place years before the game]
A collection of stories that reveal the backstories of the seven playable characters: Aelina, Narie, Demi, Kyran, Poppy, Malechite, and Reina. Could give away too much.

Untitled A
[Previously known as Corinne's Diary - takes place over 100 years after Ghost Shards]
A story involving Corinne Rautio, a young pixie/demon moving to the Royal City of Launus to gain an exciting life in the city. She later becomes the lover of Prince Alyster Natheen-Valena - until she discovers he's into Necromancy.

Untitled B
[Suggested by my fiance - occurs 4ish years before Untitled A]
While traveling the broad ocean in search of a cure for his voiceless sister, Seiko Quartz's ship is attacked by sea raiders. Along with the pirate captain's daughter, the two of them are stranded upon an island with no hope of returning home... soon.
 

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