okay this is VERY VERY SHORT and very very incomplete because i was HIT BY INSPIRATION this morning so i wrote this up while at work but now work's over so i have to stop but enjoy what i have. ^_^
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE critique this shit.
chapter one
I had a dream that was an extension of the storyline established in a pornographic video I found on the internet. The scene ended, as most do, with a moneyshot and the female protagonist waving and blowing kisses into the camera. My dream put me in the position of the film's director, and I started off with a transition between the blown kisses and my fuzzy dreamscape with a resounding "Cut! That's a wrap!"
The star of the film was a young woman who went by the stage name of Epiphany. She rubbed her face into a pink towel and closed a robe around her slim figure. I sat back in my director's chair, fingers curled together under my chin, and followed her with my eyes. Her boyfriend had recently been coming to the sets and had slipped into the habit of watching the filming. He was a very thin, very old man with deep bags under his eyes, and he always wore the same mothy tweed suit with large padded shoulders. If I hadn't known better, I'd have guessed that he was Epiphany's father, or uncle, or grandfather maybe. But he wasn't  he was the kind of controlling boyfriend who lurks around his girl's job and watches and waits for her. I instinctively knew that his family name was Sinister. His first name escaped me.
Epiphany moved in to give the old man a kiss and he held up a liver-spotted hand in front of her face. He pointed a single long finger at the dimple in her left cheek. "You missed a spot." His grinding voice sounded like the working mechanisms of an aluminum can recycling machine.
I had double-booked the room to shoot two scenes, both for different projects. I had found that this kind of forward thinking had a hand in keeping my films under budget, and as a result I was one of the most sought-after adult film directors in New Mexico. The actors and actresses for the next scene had been waiting for the other to finish, and out of the corner of my eye I saw them shuffling in preparation. My assistant tugged at my elbow.
"The actors are ready for the next scene."
My eyes were still locked on Epiphany and Mr. Sinister.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE critique this shit.
HTML:
<blockquote>I had a dream that was an extension of the storyline established in a pornographic video I found on the internet. The scene ended, as most do, with a moneyshot and the female protagonist waving and blowing kisses into the camera. My dream put me in the position of the film's director, and I started off with a transition between the blown kisses and my fuzzy dreamscape with a resounding "Cut! That's a wrap!"
The star of the film was a young woman who went by the stage name of Epiphany. She rubbed her face into a pink towel and closed a robe around her slim figure. I sat back in my director's chair, fingers curled together under my chin, and followed her with my eyes. Her boyfriend had recently been coming to the sets and had slipped into the habit of watching the filming. He was a very thin, very old man with deep bags under his eyes, and he always wore the same mothy tweed suit with large padded shoulders. If I hadn't known better, I'd have guessed that he was Epiphany's father, or uncle, or grandfather maybe. But he wasn't  he was the kind of controlling boyfriend who lurks around his girl's job and watches and waits for her. I instinctively knew that his family name was Sinister. His first name escaped me.
Epiphany moved in to give the old man a kiss and he held up a liver-spotted hand in front of her face. He pointed a single long finger at the dimple in her left cheek. "You missed a spot." His grinding voice sounded like the working mechanisms of an aluminum can recycling machine.
I had double-booked the room to shoot two scenes, both for different projects. I had found that this kind of forward thinking had a hand in keeping my films under budget, and as a result I was one of the most sought-after adult film directors in New Mexico. The actors and actresses for the next scene had been waiting for the other to finish, and out of the corner of my eye I saw them shuffling in preparation. My assistant tugged at my elbow.
"The actors are ready for the next scene."
My eyes were still locked on Epiphany and Mr. Sinister.
HTML:
</blockquote>