Epic Quest

[bjorn130]

Epic Quest


Developed in

RPG Maker XP
English

introduction

Hello I'm bjorn130 and i started making an rpg game. but you must know i don't do Graphic stuff, well not at the beginning. i first want this game to be good and all you know what i mean. i just want the gamplay to be good graphics come later

Plot

You begin you adventure in the far future 200 years after WWO3.the 3th war did really no good to the poeple. America started using there nuclear weapons when Marona became president. he saw everybody as a treat and that became his dead. But not only his death, the hole world was destroyed because of his nuclear weapons. so now revolution came back to the world, but not how it used to be... the world isn't safe anymore everywhere monsters appear and the humans have to hide more and more. but then a group of four goes to the rescue. the help many poeple and will go in battle with big monsters. and then there is...
Well i'm not telling you everything

Media

~Screenshots~

http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/9992/caveom9.png[/img]
http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/7841 ... avexd1.png[/img]
http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/3494 ... iptdf0.png[/img]
http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/8574/game11pq8.png[/img]

~BETA~

Beta #1
this is a very early beta you will need RMXP to play.
http://rapidshare.com/files/131589202/E ... t.rar.html

Employee

Bjorn130: Mapper, Event Scripter.

Free Places

Event thinker: 2 places
Hero sprite designers: 2 places
Begining screen Designer: 1 place
Beta testers: 2 places

Credits

Creators of RPG Maker XP


Thats all hope you like it.

 

[Dalton]

your maps are a bit empty. Even when you are not doing graphic stuff you should try to make them look more natural. For example in your third screenshot, why are there so many stones? Try thinking of other stuff blocking the way, like rivers and trees.
Also you have to work on the ground texture. Nature isn't one nice lawn. It is wilderness. Try adding patches of high grass and plants growing here and there.
In your first screenshot the ledder seems to come out of nothing, since the room has no actual walls.

I suggest you look at some mapping tutorials and revamp what you have here.

On another note: How about some character profiles? We want to know who we will be playing as.

Hope this helps

~Dalton~

 

[bjorn130]

ass i said gameplay first. but if poeple want to help with the graphic part they can. so here is beta #1 this is a verry early beta but if i can't provide you with graphic updates i do it like this.
http://rapidshare.com/files/131589202/E ... t.rar.html

 

[zealex]

"Your" and "you're" are not the same word... Same goes for "their" and "there".
Maps suck bad, story is weird and... bah won't even bother. :p
Seriously, this needs A LOT of work. Atm I'd call the game "Epic fail". xP

 

[Dalton]

Problem is people will not be interested with your current effort, so it is unlikely that someone is going to download it.
We all have a life (or some kind of project  :grin So we are very picky what to waste our time with. So I won't download until you manage to get me interested.

Really, at least tell me more about the characters. I want to see something interesting. Else one download less (and not only one ^^)

 

[moog]

Holy shit those screens look terrible. Your grammar is also god awful. Also, there are no char. descriptions or whatnot.

And please, for the love of god, clarify this:

You begin you adventure in the far future 200 years after WWO3.the 3th war did really no good to the poeple. America started using there nuclear weapons when Marona became president. he saw everybody as a treat and that became his dead. But not only his death, the hole world was destroyed because of his nuclear weapons. so now revolution came back to the world, but not how it used to be... the world isn't safe anymore everywhere monsters appear and the humans have to hide more and more. but then a group of four goes to the rescue. the help many poeple and will go in battle with big monsters. and then there is...
Well i'm not telling you everything

I dont get it.

Id say more but honestly I dont want to get warned, so Ill be nice and say good luck.

 

[Luminier]

A++++++ post, OP.

 

[MukanshinBlack]

It's hard for me to tell if this is a joke or not.  Horrible spelling and grammer.  Horrible story.  Horrible mapping.  And in total, horrible game.  Anyone with 1/16th of a mind can come up with crap many times better then this.  You didn't learn english yesterday and you're not 5 (I assume), so check your spelling and grammer and work more on your story.

"America started using there nuclear weapons when Marona became president. he saw everybody as a treat and that became his dead. But not only his death, the hole world was destroyed because of his nuclear weapons. so now revolution came back to the world, but not how it used to be..."
How many things are wrong with this?  there=their, treat=threat, dead=downfall, hole=whole, his=their.
You may have not known this, but the president of the United States can't launch nukes whenever he pleases.  It has to go through the House of Representatives or whatnot.  I don't remember the process exactly.  Also, America has about 10,000 nuclear bombs, enough to destroy the world 30-40 times over.  Pretty much, work on your story.

The mapping is just bad...  Look for the mapping tutorials on the forum to improve.

Look up the individual words for the correct spelling, and look for someone to check your grammer for you maybe.  There are plenty of people who don't mind spellchecking other non-native english speaker's works.

That said, good luck working on your game.  You'll need it.

PS- A character bios and features section would be good.

Note:  I started writing this post before moogle posted but got severely distracted and took too long. -_-

 

[dadevvtsvre]

You begin you adventure in the far future 200 years after WWO3.the 3th war did really no good to the poeple. America started using there nuclear weapons when Marona became president. he saw everybody as a treat and that became his dead. But not only his death, the hole world was destroyed because of his nuclear weapons. so now revolution came back to the world, but not how it used to be... the world isn't safe anymore everywhere monsters appear and the humans have to hide more and more. but then a group of four goes to the rescue. the help many poeple and will go in battle with big monsters. and then there is...
Well i'm not telling you everything

Huh? Care to elaborate a little more please? And tell me what the heck this means? So far, what I'm getting out of this is that after World War 3, the world was destroyed because nuclear weapons were used. For some reason, 200 years after this calamity, things go back to normal, but it isn't safe because for some reason monsters are everywhere and humans have to hide. Then four people (probably teenagers) go to save humankind. (where have I heard that before)

It's incredibly difficult to understand what you are saying. I mean, it's your first game of course, so I suppose it's a pretty good effort. But like others mentioned, the maps are atrocious could use some fixing up. There are plenty of great mapping tutorials on this site that should help get you going. Read up on them, do some practice maps (actually, a LOT of practice maps) and then try again.

I'm assuming English is your first language (if it isn't, you should specify) in which case the grammar is very bad. It's very hard to understand what you are trying to get across to us. And I don't think I need to tell you that you need some character descriptions. (Not to mentioned you're using Arshes as the main character from what I see. Most people hate him as a character, so you might wanna use a different one)

What do you need to work on? First off, your grammar. I mean, I'm not trying to offend you, and please don't take this the wrong way, but I've seen eight year olds write more understandable things. Do yourself a favour and fix that up.

Next thing-the maps. Please read some tutorials, and spend a lot of time (at least a week) doing nothing but practicing your maps. You will probably believe it's a waste of time, but we all had to do it. When they start to look pretty good to you, re-do your current maps and then we'll give you some critique.

Also, the story is really confusing and cliche. How the heck do monsters all of a sudden appear in the world? Why can't humans fight back? And why must it be these four kids have to save the world?

There are many things I could point out, but those are the main things. Spend a few weeks practicing, practicing, practicing, and then come back and we'll give you some honest critique.

Good luck!

P.S. "Epic Quest" is NOT a good title. Try to think of a better one. Remember, I'm not trying to offend you, I'm just trying to help.

 

[mdavis901]

Also, the story is really confusing and cliche. How the heck do monsters all of a sudden appear in the world? Why can't humans fight back?

@dadevester: The monsters can possibly be mutations of humans, trees, and other things... you should have thought a little more before you said that, but ditto everything else.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

Well, I suppose the after effects of nuclear war and radiation could trigger certain mutations. But I still find it hard to believe that humans would be helpless against such forces. I suppose after nuclear war the number of humans could be down. But it still doesn't explain why four kids could fight back while the rest of the humans couldn't. Unless the OP isn't telling us something.

 

[Sol_Fury]

I know of a couple of stories that deal with humanity falling due to nuclear war. One of those is the Empire of the East. Except the real fall there was caused by a nuclear countermeasure that recreated the world, transfiguring the nukes into demons.

At any rate, some suggestions:

200 years is an awful short time for any revolution to occur. I'd suggest a longer time, say 2000 years or more. That would allow time for technology to be truly lost, the mutations to gain control, humanity to become cattle to the new superior creatures, etc.

History of the war - I'd leave this whole part out. Just say "long ago, there was a great war using weapons each of which could kill millions at a time in seconds. It led to the fall of all civilization and caused a great change in the world" or something to that effect. As already pointed out, you've got a factual error in there. It's okay to be ambiguous on this I think. Not everything needs to be explained in full detail (unless the president becomes important later, in which case, explain it nearer the time he shows up).

What needs more explanation are the characters. Who are they, what's their deal? Why should they care about trying to change the world, more the point, why do they think they can do it rather than just thinking "there's nothing I can do so why bother trying?"

Maps - as already mentioned, your maps are plain and too open. Try making smaller spaces, or adding in extra details, like ridges, hills, different kinds of trees, lakes, etc.

Grammar - it needs work. Some of the dialog is quite disjointed and hard to follow. Nobody expects total perfection, but at least, try to use capitals in the right places, and stuff.

 

[djzalzer]

> Welcome.
> This is Epic Quest.  Now you will go through the credits of the game.
> Creators of RPG Maker XP
> Now youre journey starts.

this dialogue is epic, and I can't stop thinking about how AWESOME it is that the pillar things talk!!  But, let's continue.

It's an amazing plot device to have 3 additional characters come out of nowhere.  My mind by now is spinning with questions.  This is good stuff!

This game is full of fun little twists.  Like once, I opened this treasure chest.  It said ITS A TRAP and I was like OH SNAP but then i won the battle it was so easy.  THE SURPRISES NEVER END!! but that wasn't enough!  It happened AGAIN TO THE CHEST RIGHT NEXT TO IT! HOW DO YOU THINK THIS STUFF UP MAN?!

the quest after the potion-thirsty old man was full of twists and turns.  I don't want to spoil anything for anyone but it involves a very special tree!!! who's just a big softy

Anyway, a comment on the mapping.  I love seeing how you use the tiles in creative new ways.  Take a look:

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f206/ ... s/dfff.png[/img]

That right there!  challenging conventional standards!  you are a revolutionary, my friend.

All in all: ****_
four outof five stars!  I only don't like it because its' a beta.  stupid blue haired man!!!

I eagerly await the next beta release!

 

[Doctor]

Djzalzer, nice review, I couldn't have put it in better terms myself... well, alright, I could easily have, but I don't want to.

I half expect one of those cruel administrators, who enjoy playing us like puppets, to scream "early April's fool" soon... but I know that we may not be so lucky.

Bjorn, here's my advice to you. Have a look at the other projects around. Play some of them. You'll see how it must be done. As it is now, even Battle World RPG seems like a masterpiece compared to your game. If you've made this to become familiar with the program... don't post it, people will only laugh at you.

 

[MukanshinBlack]

Spoiler: Big post, sort of

> Welcome.
> This is Epic Quest.  Now you will go through the credits of the game.
> Creators of RPG Maker XP
> Now youre journey starts.

this dialogue is epic, and I can't stop thinking about how AWESOME it is that the pillar things talk!!  But, let's continue.

It's an amazing plot device to have 3 additional characters come out of nowhere.  My mind by now is spinning with questions.  This is good stuff!

This game is full of fun little twists.  Like once, I opened this treasure chest.  It said ITS A TRAP and I was like OH SNAP but then i won the battle it was so easy.  THE SURPRISES NEVER END!! but that wasn't enough!  It happened AGAIN TO THE CHEST RIGHT NEXT TO IT! HOW DO YOU THINK THIS STUFF UP MAN?!

the quest after the potion-thirsty old man was full of twists and turns.  I don't want to spoil anything for anyone but it involves a very special tree!!! who's just a big softy

Anyway, a comment on the mapping.  I love seeing how you use the tiles in creative new ways.  Take a look:

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f206/ ... s/dfff.png[/img]

That right there!  challenging conventional standards!  you are a revolutionary, my friend.

All in all: ****_
four outof five stars!  I only don't like it because its' a beta.  stupid blue haired man!!!

I eagerly await the next beta release!

Woah dude...  Calm down on the crack.

Seriously though, you could have pointed out the errors in a less sarcastic way, don't you think?  You may confuse poor bjorn130.  :/

 

[Doctor]

I'd rather he put it in a sarcastic way... might as well make light of this unfortunate game, else we might just go down the depression spiral.

And I think Bjorn should get the picture by now...

 

[seven]

Not like he's going to reply or anything. :p

 

[Retlaf]

He did basically ask for this kind of a response due to the nature of his first reply.

 

[seven]

ass i said gameplay first. but if poeple want to help with the graphic part they can.

I wonder if that was a spelling error or if he's just being rude.
Oh yes, and then he says people can help if they want to? What is the world coming to... :dead:

 

[Tindy]

Man.  Bjorn, do yourself a favor and come over to the Mapping Improvement thread.  We'll welcome you with open arms, promise.

ass i said gameplay first.

Yeah, except that there doesn't seem to be any good gameplay going on, and without half-decent maps you're not going to have anyone playing for very long anyway.

Furthermore, don't post screenshots unless you actually have decent maps (just one! Just one decent map.  Lure us in.  Even if the rest of the game sucks you'll at least get some people interested by that one map.)