Elemental War

[dbgtrulz]

Elemental War
I was bored one day and decided to try out RPG Maker XP so this is my first attempt at making an RPG. I wanted to get feedback about it so that I can improve it. PLEASE NOTE that everything in the demo download may change, so custom graphics and sounds will probably be added later.

Spoiler: Story

Long ago, the citizens lived in harmony with the world, it's elements, and the gods. Everything was Peaceful. But when man started to move away from the gods and started focusing on technology, the gods got angry.

The gods thought that if man betrayed nature, that nature then should betray man. Thats when the gods decided to give nature life. The creatures that spawned from nature itself were the Elementals. These newly born creatures were the concentrated essence of each element. With nothing else to do, they obeyed the gods and started a war with man.

At first the elementals completely overpowered the armies of men. Air elementals could not be hurt by mortal weapons, and thunder elementals were too fast to land a blow. Hope seemed lost for man. But then something happened.

No one is sure how or why, but a group appeared calling themselves the Elemental Warriors. Somehow, they were able to absorb the energy that brought the elementals to life. They then used this energy to defeat the elementals with their own elements. They melted ice with fire, blocked thunder with earth, extinguished fire with water, blinded darkness with light, and blotted out light with darkness.

Even with these new powers, the elementals could not be destroyed without destroying nature itself. They could only be severely weakened. That was when the priests created an elemental staff, forged from the elements themselves and enchanted with very powerful magic. With this staff, the Elemental Warriors ripped through time and space itself to send these freaks of nature to another realm, one where they could not do any more harm.

While this may seem like victory, it raised more problems. The staff was too powerful to destroy, so it had to be sealed away. The priests were chosen to guard it for all of eternity, and the remaining few Elemental Warriors hid themselves within the rest of humanity, keeping their secret through generations, waiting for the day that they hoped would never come: the return of the Elementals.

But, as the secret was pass from generation to generation, it changed from fact, to story, to myth, until it was forgotten entirely by the new generations of the Elemental Warriors. Only the nobles still knew the story, and they also thought it was just a story. Now, the remaining Elemental Warriors don't even know who they are.

But, three months ago, the priests were found dead, and the staff was stolen. Sure enough, the elementals slowly returned. By now, no one but the nobles knew what was going on, and they could not create mass chaos by telling the public they need to find an ancient clan of warriors.

Now, one average farm boy's life is about to get extremely complicated as he sets off with his sister on a quest to save the world once again from the elementals.

Spoiler: Characters

Tana
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/040-Mage08.png[/IMG]
Tana is your older sister. She does worry for you, in her own way, it's just hard to tell sometimes. She's also a little hyper, saying things like "Ok, Let's go!" or "Yeah, we beat it bad!" She is an Elemental Mage, a female elemental warrior who uses Area of Effect spells to hit all the targets at once, though these spells cost a lot of energy.​

Dad
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/044-Trader01.png[/IMG]
Dad is your, well, dad. He cares for you, though he does have a bit of a tolerance limit. The reason he's holding a knife is that you only ever see him in the kitchen. He doesn't fight, in fact, he hardly does anything. Mom never seems to appear, I wonder what she does all day. She's probably shopping.

King
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/042-King01.png[/IMG]
The king of your continent, he is very kind but also knowledgeable. He is one of the few people to know the Elemental War story, and he also recognizes your powers instantly. He is also kind enough to help you throughout your journey in some ways, like giving you one of his best soldiers. He doesn't really fight, even though he's always golding a sword. :p​

Blake
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/050-Soldier02.png[/IMG]
Blake is the king's most trusted soldier, and he is also one of the few people who knows the legend in and out. He uses a spear mostly, and is a great fighter. Unlike the Elemental Warriors, he gets his skills from leveling up instead of fighting elementals, just like most normal characters. He decides to supervise your training while on your journey.

Spoiler: Screens

Spoiler: Farm

Here is your sister waking you up. You seem to like to sleep in
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen11.JPG[/IMG]

And here is your downstairs, with a kitchen, dining room, and parlor.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen12.JPG[/IMG]

And here is your quaint little farm
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen13.JPG[/IMG]

Spoiler: Capital

The center of the capital city.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen4.JPG[/IMG]

You can talk to the various people roaming through the capital.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen5.JPG[/IMG]

The entrance to the capital, complete with a mote.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen6.JPG[/IMG]

Spoiler: Capital Castle

Here is the main hall of the castle.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen1.JPG[/IMG]

A lot of beds throughout the game will allow you to sleep on them.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen2.JPG[/IMG]

Such a kind king, giving you a soldier for your journey.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen3.JPG[/IMG]

Spoiler: First Dungeon

Here is level 1 on the dungeon, up the stairs is the exit.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen7.JPG[/IMG]

The fire elemental boss on level 3. I wonder why he's just standing there.
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen9.JPG[/IMG]

Fight fire with fire :p
http://www.green-dragon.uni.cc/EleWar/Screen10.JPG[/IMG]

You can download the demo Here. The demo only goes up the the first elemental boss. And now you can tell me everything wrong with my RPG so I can make it right.
P.S. The download does NOT require the Runtime, it comes with all of the runtime's files. I did this because my not-so-bright friends didn't want to mess with the runtime. Therefore, it's a much larger file size.

 

[Lackluster]

Everything is too symmetrical ;O The story is also somewhat generic, but it makes good use of it...I like ;O

 

[ZericCallavis]

Let me be the first to say, "Welcome to the RMXP Community!" We're always excited when more people show interest in making their stories come to life!

That being said, I want to say I'm disappointed in my fellow members. I noticed this project had 13 or 14 views, and not a single person left a comment. This community was created to expand the creative minds of those who join it, and to give help and constructive criticism when it is due. The least you can do when you click into a new topic for the first time is leave a little comment about what you have read.


Which is exactly what I am about to do:


Issue 1: Storyline -

Since you stated that this is your first venture into the realm of RPG creation, I'm not going to knock you too hard on your story. I will tell you this: after reading the synopsis you posted, I was still not compelled to download you demo. It wasn't anything new: something I've seen countless times. I would suggest sitting down and taking the time out the really think about your story. It's okay to stick with the tried and true (albeit cliched) methods and plots - to a point. Elemental Warriors, Rebellion against Gods, Gods getting revenge....nothing that I haven't seen before. Think about the whos, the whats, the whens, the wheres, the whys, and the hows. After all think - think about your audience. Put yourself in their shoes. Does it sound like a story that you'd be interested in seeing to the end?


Issue 2: RTP Graphics

- Welcome to the RMXP community. You'll soon find out that the majority of our citizens find the RTP to be bland and unexciting. That's not to say that the default RTP is bad....because it's not. However, many people, myself included, feel that original graphics better a project. It's hard to imagine we're playing "Tana - your older sister", when in the last project we played that sprite was used as "Ivana - the leader of the magic guild", and in the project before that, she was "Jessica - the evil and powerful sorceress". This website has a download manager section with a wide and wonderful selection of editted and custom sprites, as well as just about anything else you can think of. Other sites have similiar download sections, like:

http://www.creationasylum.net
http://www.rmxpu.net
z4.invisionfree.com/RPGRMXP

Heck, you could even google "RMXP Resources" and find some pretty nifty sites. It might be in your interest to check out some custom and edited stuff. (I hate Arshes with so much of a passion that in the opening scene of my project (You can find it in the New Projects section - Unlikely Hero), I kill him off in a fairly humorous fashion.....and I wasn't gonna spoil it but...too late now.)

Issue 3 - Mapping

While your mapping isn't horrible, it is definitely lacking attention to detail. What do I mean by that? Well, they're empty. Believe me when I say that mapping is no picnic. I tend to believe that mapping either comes naturally, or you have to practice at it. Personally, I still think I suck at certain parts of mapping. It's all about practice. I've found that sometimes it helps to picture in your mind before hand what it is your trying to map. Add the basic features first....you know, set up the pathways and hallways and corridors and what now. Then ad the basic details - trees in the forest, windows in a house. After the basics, go for the parts that really make a map shine - the tiny details. A bed of flowers under a tree in a forest, near a river that flows southward, a dead log stretched across it and caught between two rocks. A table in a kitchen with an empty plate on it, an open sack of potatoes nearby.

In my opinion, next to creating your own custom resources, mapping is the hardest thing to perfect in RPG Making. (Creating your own resources requires artistic talent, whereas mapping just requires patience.) Keep practicing! There are tutorials listed on this site, as well as the sites above, on how to better your mapping skills. It never hurts to take a look.


Issue 4 - Dialogue

This kinda goes hand in hand with the default RTP, but one of the biggest turnoffs for me from a project is the default message system. Again, since you're new to the community, you probably were unaware that there are scripts out there to make your messages pretty! ccoa's Universal Message System, or Dubealex's Advanced Message System are two scripts that you can find right here on this site. Both are easily implemented, and both can make your project look 10x better!


That's about all I really have to comment on right now. I didn't download your demo to try out, mostly because at first glance, you didn't get enough of my interest to make me want to. Now that I think about it, I might give it a shot, mostly to see how you've done your eventing, and to see how you present your story. If I do so, I'll post another reply and comment on those things as well.


I do want to commend you on using correct grammar and punctuation, both in the topic and in the one screenshot I saw above. That's always a good thing.

Don't get discouraged! Believe me, my first project was.....ugh, let's not even go there. Practice, practice, practice, practice! Don't be afraid to try new things, and always always always always accept constructive criticism. Mostly everyone on these forums want to see others excel, learn, and grow. If we comment about something, it's because we want to see your project get better!


Good luck,and may you enjoy much success in the RPG Making World! Welcome to game creation.

-Zeric Callavis