Dragoon Dreamer The lost world (Demo)

[Flameso]

Dragoon Dreamer: The lost world[/FONT]

[LonglongAgo...A powerful person was killed in front
of the hole city.....no one knew who did it but they
did know that the person was no friend of them.....
The city of Zuina was a rich city people had partys for hours and hours till they felt
like nothing.....the city was always happy till the
goverment wanted more and more power so then
came war and lots of it....now in the year 9,000,000,028 on the planet of
Yewuna theres a city thats a copy of china and a boy
thats set's of on a journey...to find out what
happend to the city of Zuina...But theres one thing he knows is that this journey is not going to be very
easy......]

Demo Below
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0N58VDL8

 

[Totti]

Uhhh, so what's this game about? And well, you never said anything happened to Zuina, so theres nothing to find out about. And why is there an exact copy of China? and the person was no friend of THEIR'S not THEM.

 

[Flameso]

Well after you play the game for awhile the game acutaly starts also
the isnt completed yet

also screenshots are coming soon

 

[Kojo]

Post screenshots, it is a good way for people to get more interested. Also, your grammar and word choice bothers me, if English is not your first language, get a English speaking friend or proof reader to help.

 

[kaze950]

Okay, um, there is an error where the game crashes right at the beginning. I think it's because you might be using the Postality Knights 'version'. Anyway, why the hell is a demo like this over 80 MB? Are all the songs even used? If not, I'd refrain from using them. Also, incase you didn't know, at the very beginning you can see the character sprite for a split second, then it dissapears.


Also, try not to have grammar issues within the game. From what I saw (and it was hardly anything, since it crashed):

"Hello  Vetum I heard-"

it should be

"Hell Vetum. I heard-"

"They did Genum why that horrible why dose our government sell people its-" (and thats where the game crashes)

it should be

"They did, Genum. Why, that's horrible! Why does our government sell people its..."

You missed several commas and periods, and mispelled 'does'

 

[Totti]

It took me two whole minutes to download this demo, meaning it's a HUGE file considering It normally take about 15 seconds to download other people's demos.

 

[Double_Clawshot]

Just because of your grammar and presentation I'm going to pass. Put some effort into your posts.

 

[~Atlaswing~]

in the year 9,000,000,028 on the planet of Yewuna

.............such exaggeration...

I really think the year counting this age will be different from future ages.

The story you typed is very confusing, apart from the grammatic errors. Please improve on that. I dont get the connection of the COPY OF CHINA to the story...

.....so, Zuina is in planet Yewuna?...


(i have to download the demo huh? :P)

Obviously, you didnt follow the right way to make a proper project thread. Just because you have the demo, it doesnt mean it can be placed in the Project Discussion thread.

Please read the http://www.rmxp.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1833

Good Luck! :D

 

[Junk-Man]

[LonglongAgo...A powerful person was killed in front
of the hole city.....no one knew who did it but they
did know that the person was no friend of them.....

Bad grammar aside, THIS is the most interesting aspect of your story and in my honest opinion, if you really want to make a game this mystery would be a great starting point.

The city of Zuina was a rich city people had partys for hours and hours till they felt
like nothing.....the city was always happy till the
goverment wanted more and more power so then
came war and lots of it....now in the year 9,000,000,028 on the planet of
Yewuna theres a city thats a copy of china and a boy
thats set's of on a journey...to find out what
happend to the city of Zuina...But theres one thing he knows is that this journey is not going to be very
easy......]

This seems a bit vestigial, as well as illogical. Does a city's government really have the ability to go to war with itself? If so? Why and how?