DRAGON WAR

[PINEDAXP]

Please, I need everyone to reply on this since I can manage to know what should be improved in any way!!!

"Dragon War"

Spoiler: Story

"The Dragon War, a massive conflict between two powerful nations, consumed all the human resources for battle in a long night. Zarlea seemed to be cornered, until something weird happened...

Both kingdoms settled a pace agreement, however they planned to take that time to build an army of Greater capacities... kids were taken away to become part of the army..... What nobody expected was that the peace agreement worked so fine....

Therefore, both Empires ordered their Elite Warriors to dismiss their less warrior-suited apprentices and end the training with just the better kid, so when he grows he could integrate the Imperial Guard..... Kids fought over each other, even their best friends, just to be the chosen one.....

Mark beat his best friend to earn that spot with the Grand Warrior Khal, during the next years he underwent the training and he became strong and proud, but when the time came, the training wasn't over....

At the Imperial Capital, he was assigned to go spy the Empire's "old times enemies" and report of anything suspicious, so with his new party, Mark goes into the Enemy's lines....

How long will this Peace remain? Find out, what surprises awaits Mark on his journey....

Spoiler: The Dragon Legend

"Once upon a time, A rudimentary, yet strong country, got his hands in a magical creature. This creature not only could fly, but also spit fire...

This new power gave the Ancient Country a lust for conquer... so they started hunting one free land after another, until a brave knight decided to stay in their way...

This brave Knight managed to outsmart their enemy's tactics and attacked the Dragon with his sword, causing a terrible wound... the dragon's blood gave the already fine sword amazing capabilities, that could only be used by his Master... The Dragon flown away, never to be seen again, and the Ancient Warrior fought against his own lust for power with his new weapon...

When the Ancient Hero's time came, he embraced death proudly, since his legacy of justice would remain forever.."

No one knew where the Dragon was, neither the sword... until the old writings were found and a ferocious battle raged for this document, which revealed the location of either of those... This centuries long battle for the Dragon's secret is what later would be called "The Dragon War"

Main Characters

Spoiler: Main Characters

Spoiler: Grand Master Khal

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/2412d2cd2e.png[/img]
Age: 55
He's a War Hero, the most important one in this conflict history... is he? He appears at the beginning of this story, A prologue from 17 years ago... he defied the Empire alongside his partner Lucius to protect their City, which was about being destroyed, Celthia had Zarlea cornered until a powerful twist of events happened... Now Khal is an elder Warrior with the heart and the strength of a Dragon

Spoiler: The Forgotten Warrior Lucius

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/8efae051fe.png[/img] Why isn't there any records of he playing a part on the Dragon War History? Lucius appears at the beginning, he left Zarlea Castle to defend those who couldn't defend themselves, to fight until his City was secured

Spoiler: Mark, the Proud One Spreading his wings

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/73d549f8a6.png[/img]http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/84f17f1a0e.gif[/img]
Age:18
He's the main Character, his training with Khal made him grow stronger than any other apprentice, as well as prouder than any other...He gets his first assignment when he gets to the Capital, and goes into the Celthia Empire

Spoiler: Gerard, the Darkness Emissary

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/90f4174143.png[/img]
Age: 20
He once were Mark's best friend, until he was defeated at Mt. Pent to define Mark as Khal's apprentice... no one saw him ever since

Spoiler: Drake, the Genious, the Great, the Dark

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/1b62d18ecd.png[/img]
Age: Unknown
He was the secret behind Celthia's victories and the near destruction of Zarlea, until he met his fate, until he met Lucius, since then no one's ever seen him again, his surrounding darkness hasn't been felt ever again, until Gerard...?

Spoiler: Morgan, the Vicious King

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/59bb0d6df6.png[/img]
Age: 63
Morgan, King of Celthia, is known to be a cold strategist, he managed to get to the throne 30 years ago when the people of Celthia got tired from his previous King's lack of determination regarding the War

Spoiler: Leo, Warm, yet stone-like Ruler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/d2948102f4.png[/img]
Age: 59
Leo has gotten an easy task in ruling Zarlea, due to the support gave to him by the Knights and the Counsel he created, he, being surrounded by the most important minds wasn't to be questioned, not even by his closest servers, until "he" did it

Spoiler: Marie, the Fear of the Sea

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/2c13791f4a.png[/img]
Age: 18
She's a fearless mariner with over 6 years of being on her own, she learned how though can life become for a girl, which makes her very cold and uninterested in anyone... being so, Thief Joe, just keeps stocking on her restless

Spoiler: Logan, the Axe wielding wind

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/67b8b96589.png[/img]
Age: 21
Logan is very warm hearted, powerful indeed... not the smartest guy, but surely great to rely on when hard times come... He values friends more than anything and he will do everything for them...

Spoiler: Hellen, the fiery tempered Wizard

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/cfc2bfb01f.png[/img]
Age: 18
She's a really smart person, so her mind allows her to do anything she desires, she'd rather choice a intelligent less effective strategy than jumping into conclusions and actions... that's why she's becoming Mark's right hand, the one to trust in...

Spoiler: Joe, rather than a thief, a sneaky guy...

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/c7d0670a83.png[/img]
Age: 25
He's the most wanted man by the Celthia King, although he stays in the same place for a while, the Kingdom seems to have more important matters to mind on... so they set up a reward on him... You meet him cuz he tells his best buddy to turn him in to have the reward collected and split the profits, he kinda stocks on to you in your way out of the Dungeon you got into in a confusion... Not brave, yet sneaky and outgoing....

Those are my posted Main Characters for now... but I will update it soon with some more Mains and a few secondary, I'll post an update message when I do, and also I'll be posting screen shots soon

UPDATE! Screenies!

Spoiler: Screenshots

Spoiler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/933acf25ce.jpg[/img]

Spoiler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/d0612e4eef.jpg[/img]

Spoiler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/009fd9b591.png[/img]

Spoiler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/a14d411bff.jpg[/img]

Spoiler

http://www.realimagehost.com/uploads/47586a422f.jpg[/img]

Spoiler: Credits

PINEDA XP----MOSTLY ON ANY FIELD
LANDOFSHADOWS---Graphic design/edits on charsets and tilesets
LEGACYBLADE---Title design among many many other things
TANA----------l
EUPHONY------l THIS GUYS IN CHARSETS AND EDITS, TY!
GOOZARU------l
NARAMURA-----l
MACK AND MACK'S LOOSELEAF---BIG TIME ON CHARSETS
BACKWATER PRODUCTIONS----CHARSET GENERATION
GREASE MONKEY------------CHARSETS AND RECOLORS
MATTE---------RUNNING TEMPLATE
NOOBO--------ABS CHARSETS
JD SLASHA------CHOCOBO DESIGN1
UGO HERO MACHINE
SANIZORA'S
---------------------SPECIAL THANKS-------------------
RMREVOLUTION
RMXP.ORG
CREATION ASYLUM
CHARASPROJECT.NET
ENTERBRAIN

Spoiler: DEMO NOW RELEASED!

UPDATED WITH NEW VERSION
Demo includes chapter 1
Issues related to demo:
1-Version 0.5-------Many bugs fixed regarding text box mainly, improved dialogues!!! Slight map changes
2-Default battle system-----Final version will be CBS
3-Face Graphics by Facemaker----------Final version will have custom ones
4-Retouched the maps a bit... And added the animated add ons
5-Download link, version 0.5***NEW

Spoiler: v0.5-Megaupload

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YN6PYRSV

Spoiler: NOTE

Oh! And btw, the facemaker graphics will remain until I can find an artist, if you're one then, join me on this making Faces, you'll be the third one in my credits... 1-Me 2-Legacyblade 3-Face maker guy... I'm also recruiting play testers... PM on this

If you desire to reply, please mind your manners, I can tell if there's bad intentions on your post, instead of constructive criticism:yes:

MAYOR UPDATE!!!

DW has w forum of its own, so to whoever wishes to join here's the link...

http://dragonwar.freeforums.org/index.php

 

[G-man]

About time you bought this here! Although you strangled the life out of facemaker, those sprites are amazing, and the story as well.

 

[CrymsenTears]

hmm... at first I thought this was just soem cliche garbage, but I changed my mind. this could actually develop very nicely.

 

[PINEDAXP]

@G-Man: Thanks dude! This is the first ever full topic on DW, so I'm grateful for the replies

@Emo: Thanks dude... it actually first developed kinda clich?, but then I managed to spice the story and had to redesign the characters a bit... and yeah, it turned out great, just you wait for the end of it, and the middle game's crazy twist, which is just perfect...

 

[Ravenith]

Very interesting project. The title initially misled me, but this is not the crap we see by the dozens. That chocobo in he first screenie looks... bloated. :P
Anyway, your chars and story are kinda unique and cliche at the same time, they give a great feeling. One thing though. Facemaker will be criticised by many people, so if you could find other faces, it would be nice. If not, stick with these. Keep up the good work!

 

[PINEDAXP]

Thanks dude! Actually, I added a note a the end saying that I'm in need for artists that can manage the face graphic design... since I can't... but the demo will be released with that facemaker stuff... and final version will be hopefully custom graphics packed....

About the characters... yeah... they have some clich? on them with some things that make em also unique in a sort of way... Charsets are mostly designed by myself... and the chocobo was edited from JD Slasha's chocobo...

PS: Bloated? I'll need a dictionary

 

[JakeyZombie]

It seems like you're trying to create a flawless kodak image of all of your characters, although you don't give us a whole lot to work with, and if those are all PCs I think you might want to narrow it down a bit, haha. Having 11 playable characters isn't a huge benefit to any game, really. It's difficult getting to know all of them, you know.Your mapping is okay, you might want to check out some of the tutorials lying around this site, they tend to help most users.I honestly don't mind the look of this game though, I can see it going in a positive direction.

Keep us posted.

Oh, it seems like you kind of slaughtered facemaker a bit, from what I'm seeing with your characters. They all look really generic/similar.

 

[GUNJaH]

Pretty nice! The graphics are awesome, it makes the fight cut scenes look more realistic. The mapping could use some more work, it looks empty. But overall it's a pretty good game.

 

[PINEDAXP]

Thanks, uh, some points:

1-Face Maker will NOT remain in final version... it's just easier for me to keep this for the time being and replace them later
2-My Mapping has improved, but the first ones were left the way they were at first, with slight changes, but yeah, mapping isn't my best...
3-They aren't 11 Playable... from the list only 4 are playable, the rest are Main ones but not like you can use/kick them...lol
4-Mapping is being worked!
5-My favorites are the graphic sequences, like the intro... gives you the chance to make custom ones...

Thank you, keep the replies coming!

 

[GUNJaH]

I just played the demo, the story was presented not too good. There were some points in the story that were very confusing and not very convincing. I still have high hopes for this game

 

[PINEDAXP]

What points exactly...? The confusion must be an effect that came outta my bad English and not so strong dialogues. But yeah, tell me about it, the confusion, I mean

 

[GUNJaH]

Well, the dialogues were confusing and some were the events. I was'nt convinced that Gerd was Mark's bestfriend and in the intro I was confused of what Lucius point really was, to protect the people or the town?

 

[PINEDAXP]

Ok... I guessed that would be it... ok... first, I add version 0.2, to organize content better slight map changes and fixed the message box system... Makes things a lot more clear... Thank you for that suggestion...

Second... the town... has people inside... so... it's all the same... but I'll fix that on next version just to be sure...

And Mark being BF with Gerard is going to be worked on, since all there is on that is the game words.. obviously there's a few years out from the game, so I'll have to compensate on that somehow...

Anyway, try new version everyone! You'll see small changes that makes things a LOT more better

And if you keep doing this GUN, You'll be in credits....! Bye, hope to see the thread grow

 

[Ratty524]

I'm a bit annoyed with how you mixed different styles of graphics in this game, it kind of reminds me of Battle World RPG *shudders*

I'll play the demo when I have the time.

 

[Elijah von Bose]

Dear PINEDAXP,

War is hardly a "dispute."

Why ask rhetorical questions?
Is the Dragon War really over?

Well, it'll likely be a goddamn boring game if it is.

Hatred can grow fast if the darkness touches you?
I laughed. My mind is in the gutter.

Your mapping is average - which is pretty low. Not bad for a beginner, I assume.

Dragon War? Please tell me that the conflict had something to do with Dragons. Because that's simply pointless otherwise.

Overall, I was able to read your story and not drift off more than twice, which is a rare occurance. Good for you.

With Love,
Eiji Shinsoto

 

[006]

Looks good man I will play it when I can.

 

[PINEDAXP]

@Eiji: Well...

War: a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air. 2.Dispute over...

But might as well change that...

Retoric question, k, I guess I failed at that, it should be more likely to say something else, with less redundance, since the War isn't apparently over but living a peace era...

You are laughing pointless to the darkness thing, since you don't know what is it about, yet, neither why is it called Dragon War, you don't want to know everything just inmediatly, in ANY game... Might as well post the Legend that gives this story its final touch...

My mapping, yeah, is average, but I don't care too much about it anyway, there's still lots of work to be done...

@Ratty: The only graphic mixture is the includement of Mack's Looseleaf graphics, which I edited myself to blend in better. No one's ever noticed that, and I got good replies on my chars, but hey! Tour opinion still counts... BTW, the face in the Wanted Poster will be changed to match the style we decide to go for in the end for the faces...

@Noobo: Thank you dude, I hope you do play it, so you can help me in the development of this...

Thanks to Noobo and Eiji! Keep replies coming...!

 

[nanao]

I hope to play the demo soon when I have time. Good luck on your game~ ^^

 

[PINEDAXP]

Thank you, hopefully I can get more reviews on this, and have some people to play the game...

 

[Spiritual]

I'll have to agree with Ratty, some of your charactersets look rather odd. Lucius' sprite just doesn't look like it's an RTP-style sprite. Neither does Gerard, Drake, Morgan, or Marie's.

Another note: Try to refrain yourself from using so many ellipses. Too many ellipses = Amateur-ish looking writing.

Finally:

kids were taken away to become part of the army

I'm assuming your game takes place in medieval times, or something like that. Back then, weren't children already being sent to join the army?

Edit: All right, I played the demo. To the point where I found the green treasure chest anyway.

Your dialogue is bland. Everyone sounds the same, and you introduced everyone far too quickly. I don't remember anyone's name from the first scene except for Lucius'.

Secondly, every time I talked to someone, the message box would still be there. Surely you had to notice that when you playtested that?

Thirdly, everything went by too quickly, and it wasn't in a very smooth transition. It was just "War!" "Walk up the mountain and defeat an extremely easy opponent" "Walk around a forest" (About this, you could've done a lot better job with creating barriers. I mean, why would there be smoke or fire in the forest for no good reason?) and "Defeat a random and still easy boss". Another thing: Mark was just way too weak once Khal left. I was at almost full health, and was defeated in one turn by those three water-things.