Doubts about relationships..

[oblivia5]

So... I've just got myself a girlfriend, but there is serious doubts in my mind. I really like this girl, but I'm in love with someone else. I've been in love with my best friend for ages now, but she is a lesbian and also moved miles away so we hardly get to see each other, so yeah bad times...
But when I talk to my best friend we always flirt, and get really close. She said I'm different to most guys... and all that.

I just got with my girlfriend today, and my friend is visiting for the weekend and I'm going to be hanging out with my friend tomorrow, and getting drunk.

I'm scared that I could end up doing something stupid, because I'm in love with my friend, but I now have a girlfriend.

I'm stuck with a head and heart position. I want to follow my heart for the girl I love, but I need to use my head and face reality...

 

[Ellie]

"but she is a lesbian and also moved miles away"

I dunno, it just seems an obvious situation to me.

 

[Star]

Here's the plan..

Since she's a lesbian. And she likes you, have her do your girlfriend and watch. Then if they are drunk enough, ask to join in. Then you'll be like an ice cream sammich.

Lesbian.. Moved miles away. Unless she confessed her love for you, I'd skip out man.

 

[oblivia5]

Well we did start to have sex when we were drunk once. And she says she feels different around me than anyone else.

 

[Lyric]

The same way your girlfriend is really your plan B (because you'd much rather be with the lesbian), you are the lesbian's plan B. Sorry to be so blunt (sort of).

 

[mawk]

as a side note, you really shouldn't use the way people act when they're drunk as an indication of anything. it's the sort of field where you really can't count on any diagnosis.

this can't be easy for you, and I understand that you really want it to work your way, but it seems like the odds are heavily stacked against you. life isn't fair, and never will be. you just have to make the best of it.

 

[moog]

If youre in love with someone else then dating the current girl isnt fair to her. Either break up with her and tell your friend how you feel and hope for the best or stay with the girl and do whatever. Be monogamous or be sneaky, but the latter is really disgusting in my opinion.

as a side note, you really shouldn't use the way people act when they're drunk as an indication of anything. it's the sort of field where you really can't count on any diagnosis.

also THIS. if you have sex while drunk that usually means nothing

 

[bluehazed]

what moog said. you'll just hurt her more if you drag it out.

 

[Lyric]

Mawk brings up a good point. Also, I agree with moog. It is kind of disgusting. Why would you even get with your girlfriend in the first place if you've had all your feelings for the lesbian friend?

 

[oblivia5]

I got with my girlfriend because to be honest i'm being a bit selfish, well a lot selfish. i knw i should break up with her, but i don't know how to. And also i made out with the other girl last night... i'm a dick. My mind is messed up at the minute, i feel trapped cus i know that i'm only gonna hurt myself, and my girlfriend, and i don't want that.

 

[bluehazed]

Just think about it for a second. You probably know already what you're supposed to do; just go do that.

 

[mawk]

so you're totally cheating right now, man. be honest with yourself. saying things like "MY MIND IS MESSED UP" and "I AM TRAPPED" is only rationalizing things when you already know you're being an asshole. if you don't want to hurt your girlfriend, don't go around making out with other women. it's that simple. if you really wanna pursue your faraway lesbian friend, then dump the one you're with first. it's still not very nice, but at least it shows a little respect.

 

[moog]

how do you break up with the girl? You go up to her and say im breaking up with you.

also yeah this is pretty gross, even by my odd standards. Im a wierdo but I dont like messing with more than one girl at a time. That's one of my biggest pet peeves.

And yeah as miek said youre in ground zero for cheating so uh.....

 

[Star]

This is the kinda thing that ends up on Maury. I'd go with what your heart is set on. Don't hold a plan B because that's just be an opportunist. If you screw things up in the end at least be true to yourself and don't stay with someone you don't love them. It's pretty obvious. I hear WAY too many times from my previous girlfriends how the guy simply stated they didn't love them anymore for a long time but finally decided to call it quits, and the next day they had a different girlfriend. Worst thing that could possibly happen is if you get caught cheating, then you might as well kiss her goodbye and won't be seeing any second chances to get back with her if you wanted too.

 

[Lyric]

That's horrible. Tell your girlfriend that she deserve better than a douche like you and that you've been cheating on her, so she should probably go get tested for STDs because who knows who else the lesbian is doing. I mean wow, how selfish can you be?

 

[bacon]

alright guys, lets not throw words and blows around.

I agree with everyone above in what you should do. Dump her. Honestly, I dont think your mind is set on anyone right now. I think maybe you should be girl-friendless for a little bit and get your priorities straight. See what happens. If your friend is lesbian, then I think you are taking previous behavior the wrong way. One can be emotionally attached but not physically attached. She could just be experimenting with guys. Who knows to be quite honest? You obviously dont know so maybe you should take a step back and re-evaluate. Take the pot off the heat. With a cool head and some time, see what happens and what leads where.

 

[Glitchfinder]

Honestly, I think you should dump your current girlfriend. And I'm not saying the wuss-out, tell her over facebook kind of shit. She deserves to be told, point-blank, that you should never have agreed because you had your heart set on someone else. That's what respect is. Even if she doesn't like it, it's better than you lying to her.

Then, I think you need to sit down and have a talk with this lesbian friend of yours. Let it out into the open, and tell her your honest feelings. It'll make things easier to deal with, and, even if she doesn't reciprocate, you'll probably laugh at it later, thinking about how silly it all was.

 

[moog]

So basically everyone's telling you the same thing. And this really doesnt invoke a discussion since you never actually asked for relationship help (not that we do that anyways) and instead just somewhat ranted about your love life. Im gonna lock this now, but if you feel you have something to further the discussion PM me and I'll unlock.

Good luck figuring this shit out. Chances are youre in high school, confused and in a year youll realize how dumb you are. Happens to all of us, man.