Use this thread to post your creative writing for the next two weeks of the Creative Writing Workshop. You can find the details in that thread. The theme for this week is "seasons".
[CWW] Seasons
- Thread starter Stardust
- Start date
Winter:
It was born in the midst of winter, put upon the earth by a dying mother. It screamed as it was born into the dark of the night and then it stared, seeing the stars of the skies and falling silent. Behind it, its mother gave its last breath and died.
Silent snow fell to the earth, building up ever so slowly. The being glanced around, wondering where it was. Tress flanked both its side, and it glanced back at the corpse of the one that had birthed it. Slowly, it crawled away into the night.
The flow of a river from the mountains downwards to the plains was found, and the infant crawled to the edge of the flow. Slowly dipping its tongue, it sipped, and then leaped back, feeling the chilling cold of the winter on its tongue. It crawled away, feeling snow piling on its shoulders, but too lazy to shake it off.
A single bird perched upon frosted earth, one of few at this time. Picking at the barren earth for bits of food, it did not realize that the infant was already upon it until it was too late. With a infantile roar, the beast bit down upon the bird, and started swallowing it whole. The last cry of the bird was heard, echoing throughout the mountains.
The beast, barely more than babe, glanced at the moving animal. The deer, with a puff of white upon its tail, glanced around. The beast stared back silently, taking not a step forward until the deer turned away. With a single bound, the beast shot forward and landed upon the deer. While the deer thrashed around, the beast clamped down upon its neck, and with a twist, it died. The beast continued its hold upon the neck of the carcass until it finally gave way to hunger and started its feast.
The last storm of winter came. The beast bounded back and forward as wind slammed into it. Finding a small clearing at the edge of the mountains, the beast spied an open cave. Glancing around, the trees looked familiar, eerily familiar. With a shyness that it was not used to, the beast continued forward, slowly and slowly, and into the opening of the cave. Find a lump of fur, the hunched its back, prepared its many, many claws... until it realized that the being before it was dead. Prowling forth, it recognized the fur that it found, and just for a moment, recalled the memory of a mother.
Winter ended,
And
Spring begins.
Spring
The last of the storms subsides as wintry chill gave away to spring rebirth. The beast creeped from the caved it had designated as its home all the season long. Slowly, it sniffed about, and then started down the path away from the grave of its mother.
The flower bloomed in the face of the warmth approaching. The beast crushed it as it walked past, and saw into a pasture in the process of blooming. Sniffing, it smelled a scent that was different from any that it had seen so far. It smelled like... it smelled like its mother. It bounded forth, following the scent.
A single female was in the clearing. The bitch, like him, was large and had many wings. Three legs flanked both sides, but unlike the beast, it stood on its two hind legs. Six fingers flanked its hands, claws hidden at the moment. A great mass of cascading hair hid its face, allowing only the snout to extend. Its fur luscious, it was beautiful.
The beast growled, but the other being didn't do anything for a moment. Then the female suddenly leaped forward, her hind legs providing a massive boost that made her leap the entire distance, and then she came down upon him. Bearing teeth, she growled, seemingly ready to kill him like prey. The beast struggled, until he realized that the female was not attacking anymore.
The came close, still pinning him, and stated, "A child?" The beast didn't understand the words, but stilled, knowing that the female was much greater than him at the moment. "Barely born... nothing but a babe," she said, and then leaped from him. Turning around, she said, "I refuse to die just so another can live." Turning, with a flick of her tail, she leaped into the forest, all but disappearing from him sight.
It was born in the midst of winter, put upon the earth by a dying mother. It screamed as it was born into the dark of the night and then it stared, seeing the stars of the skies and falling silent. Behind it, its mother gave its last breath and died.
Silent snow fell to the earth, building up ever so slowly. The being glanced around, wondering where it was. Tress flanked both its side, and it glanced back at the corpse of the one that had birthed it. Slowly, it crawled away into the night.
The flow of a river from the mountains downwards to the plains was found, and the infant crawled to the edge of the flow. Slowly dipping its tongue, it sipped, and then leaped back, feeling the chilling cold of the winter on its tongue. It crawled away, feeling snow piling on its shoulders, but too lazy to shake it off.
A single bird perched upon frosted earth, one of few at this time. Picking at the barren earth for bits of food, it did not realize that the infant was already upon it until it was too late. With a infantile roar, the beast bit down upon the bird, and started swallowing it whole. The last cry of the bird was heard, echoing throughout the mountains.
The beast, barely more than babe, glanced at the moving animal. The deer, with a puff of white upon its tail, glanced around. The beast stared back silently, taking not a step forward until the deer turned away. With a single bound, the beast shot forward and landed upon the deer. While the deer thrashed around, the beast clamped down upon its neck, and with a twist, it died. The beast continued its hold upon the neck of the carcass until it finally gave way to hunger and started its feast.
The last storm of winter came. The beast bounded back and forward as wind slammed into it. Finding a small clearing at the edge of the mountains, the beast spied an open cave. Glancing around, the trees looked familiar, eerily familiar. With a shyness that it was not used to, the beast continued forward, slowly and slowly, and into the opening of the cave. Find a lump of fur, the hunched its back, prepared its many, many claws... until it realized that the being before it was dead. Prowling forth, it recognized the fur that it found, and just for a moment, recalled the memory of a mother.
Winter ended,
And
Spring begins.
Spring
The last of the storms subsides as wintry chill gave away to spring rebirth. The beast creeped from the caved it had designated as its home all the season long. Slowly, it sniffed about, and then started down the path away from the grave of its mother.
The flower bloomed in the face of the warmth approaching. The beast crushed it as it walked past, and saw into a pasture in the process of blooming. Sniffing, it smelled a scent that was different from any that it had seen so far. It smelled like... it smelled like its mother. It bounded forth, following the scent.
A single female was in the clearing. The bitch, like him, was large and had many wings. Three legs flanked both sides, but unlike the beast, it stood on its two hind legs. Six fingers flanked its hands, claws hidden at the moment. A great mass of cascading hair hid its face, allowing only the snout to extend. Its fur luscious, it was beautiful.
The beast growled, but the other being didn't do anything for a moment. Then the female suddenly leaped forward, her hind legs providing a massive boost that made her leap the entire distance, and then she came down upon him. Bearing teeth, she growled, seemingly ready to kill him like prey. The beast struggled, until he realized that the female was not attacking anymore.
The came close, still pinning him, and stated, "A child?" The beast didn't understand the words, but stilled, knowing that the female was much greater than him at the moment. "Barely born... nothing but a babe," she said, and then leaped from him. Turning around, she said, "I refuse to die just so another can live." Turning, with a flick of her tail, she leaped into the forest, all but disappearing from him sight.
Haha it wasn't bad. You weren't incredibly clear on what was going on sometimes, but I think that could be cleared up if you chose to continue with it. I like how you took the theme and started going through the seasons of the creature's life. 
What I wrote (Also posted here. You can comment in either thread. :P):
What I wrote (Also posted here. You can comment in either thread. :P):
Seasonal
"What's your favorite season?" The girl let go of my hand and spun around, an expectant look in her eyes. She had somehow dragged me into an empty practice room.
I rubbed my chin for a few seconds before responding. "Spring, I guess. I like watching everything come back to life as if nothing had happened. It feels like nature is forgetting the past and starting over, if that makes sense."
"'Kay!" She made a quick wave of her hand and the room started changing. The walls disappeared, revealing a bright blue sky. Grass pushed up and absorbed the floor in its green, then flowers rose up and started blossoming. Targets for practice became trees and benches became bushes. It would have been impossible to know we were still deep underground if the door behind me hadn't stayed.
"What's your name?" I asked, looking around what was now a breezy plain.
"Ariel."
"I've never seen magic like this." I reached down and felt the grass slip between my fingers. Everything about this was perfect - the smells, the sounds, the feeling of the wind and grass. I even wondered whether or not the walls would stop me from walking off into the endless sky. But when I turned around to ask, Ariel was gone. "Hello?"
Only the sound of wind responded. I waited for a few minutes, assuming she'd pop back in. The artificial sun started making me hot, though, so I decided to walk back to the door. My hand grasped the door knob, but curiosity got the best of me and I reached over to where the wall should have been. My hand collided with the cold stone and the entire image blinked out. The room became a boring, dull practice room once again as if the illusion had never existed.
"I think I'm going insane," I told Tom. He chuckled and put down the gear in his hand.
"That's an odd hello," he said, motioning for me to take a seat on his bed. "I'm sure whatever you're talking about would make us all insane, but I guess I should ask why."
I flopped down on his bed and sighed. "A girl who called herself Ariel just dragged me into a practice room, made it into a replica of my favorite season, then vanished. I had no idea magic like that existed. It was so much more than the illusions we have around. It actually felt real. Tom are you...blushing?"
"Oh...uhm...don't mind me," he said, shifting his feet. Whatever he was embarassed about wasn't my business, so I shrugged and waited for him to continue. "If you met the Ariel I think you met, I can assure you you aren't going insane. A few people have met her."
"Who is she, then? I didn't know people could pop in and out of this place like that."
"They can't." I glared at him, which seemed to make him blush harder. "Only certain people can teleport around except for a few rooms that anybody can teleport to. I think it's easiest if I show you something." He stood up and opened the door, letting me out so he could lock his door behind us.
Tom ran a hand over a large piece of slate embedded into a hallway wall. Names were engraved in it...lots of names. "This is -"
"The Memorium." Me and Tom spun around at Rayzack's voice. He was right behind us, reading the large slate. Neither of us heard, saw, or felt him approach. Apparently he was one of the people who could teleport at will, but it was incredibly unusual for him to use magic. "I'm assuming Mark met Ariel?"
"Yeah," Tom said. "She used illusions again, apparently quite advanced by his reaction."
"What is this about?" I was growing impatient with the two of them talking about some insider knowledge.
Rayzack stepped forward and pointed to a particular name. Ariel Winters. "This was made after a certain incident. There are similar plaques around, but this one is the largest in terms of the number of deaths."
Dead. "Ariel is...dead...?"
"She's a spirit, yes. Her body was...destroyed. You'll learn what happened when you're ready, but now the story would only scare you since you're new to magic. If you ever meet Ariel again, just go along with her. Don't bring up her death. Someone made that mistake once and we almost had to add them to this list."
"Holy shit she's dangerous?! Why don't we get rid of her like we do other demons and crap?"
Rayzack sighed heavily. When it was obvious he wasn't going to answer, Tom spoke. "We've tried. She's too powerful." He looked over at Rayzack for a better explanation.
"Sometimes it's best to leave things alone. It is a human assumption that we must make things best suited for ourselves. In some cases, we should simply accept the presence of things we don't like."
"But what if she kills someone? Are you -"
"She could have easily killed many people. She has not. The only person she's harmed provoked her. If you're curious, you can find recordings of the debate in the library. For now I have to get going." With that, Rayzack brushed a hand against the Memorium before walking off. "And you're doing well so far, by the way," he called back.
"Thanks!" Me and Tom read the plaque in silence until Rayzack was out of site. "He's unusually serious today, isn't he?"
"Well..." Tom looked around for a few second before finding words. "This is something he's passionate about and a lot of people ask him about it. He feels guilty for the lives lost. I think I would, too, considering what happened."
"Are you going to tell me what hell happened?" Again, he started blushing.
"I trust Rayzack's decision. You should wait to find out. ...I'd rather not lose you because there are dangerous things here."
I couldn't help but smile. "Well, I need to get to bed. It's been a long day."
"Yeah. Sweet dreams, Mark." I miss having Tom around.
"What's your favorite season?" The girl let go of my hand and spun around, an expectant look in her eyes. She had somehow dragged me into an empty practice room.
I rubbed my chin for a few seconds before responding. "Spring, I guess. I like watching everything come back to life as if nothing had happened. It feels like nature is forgetting the past and starting over, if that makes sense."
"'Kay!" She made a quick wave of her hand and the room started changing. The walls disappeared, revealing a bright blue sky. Grass pushed up and absorbed the floor in its green, then flowers rose up and started blossoming. Targets for practice became trees and benches became bushes. It would have been impossible to know we were still deep underground if the door behind me hadn't stayed.
"What's your name?" I asked, looking around what was now a breezy plain.
"Ariel."
"I've never seen magic like this." I reached down and felt the grass slip between my fingers. Everything about this was perfect - the smells, the sounds, the feeling of the wind and grass. I even wondered whether or not the walls would stop me from walking off into the endless sky. But when I turned around to ask, Ariel was gone. "Hello?"
Only the sound of wind responded. I waited for a few minutes, assuming she'd pop back in. The artificial sun started making me hot, though, so I decided to walk back to the door. My hand grasped the door knob, but curiosity got the best of me and I reached over to where the wall should have been. My hand collided with the cold stone and the entire image blinked out. The room became a boring, dull practice room once again as if the illusion had never existed.
"I think I'm going insane," I told Tom. He chuckled and put down the gear in his hand.
"That's an odd hello," he said, motioning for me to take a seat on his bed. "I'm sure whatever you're talking about would make us all insane, but I guess I should ask why."
I flopped down on his bed and sighed. "A girl who called herself Ariel just dragged me into a practice room, made it into a replica of my favorite season, then vanished. I had no idea magic like that existed. It was so much more than the illusions we have around. It actually felt real. Tom are you...blushing?"
"Oh...uhm...don't mind me," he said, shifting his feet. Whatever he was embarassed about wasn't my business, so I shrugged and waited for him to continue. "If you met the Ariel I think you met, I can assure you you aren't going insane. A few people have met her."
"Who is she, then? I didn't know people could pop in and out of this place like that."
"They can't." I glared at him, which seemed to make him blush harder. "Only certain people can teleport around except for a few rooms that anybody can teleport to. I think it's easiest if I show you something." He stood up and opened the door, letting me out so he could lock his door behind us.
Tom ran a hand over a large piece of slate embedded into a hallway wall. Names were engraved in it...lots of names. "This is -"
"The Memorium." Me and Tom spun around at Rayzack's voice. He was right behind us, reading the large slate. Neither of us heard, saw, or felt him approach. Apparently he was one of the people who could teleport at will, but it was incredibly unusual for him to use magic. "I'm assuming Mark met Ariel?"
"Yeah," Tom said. "She used illusions again, apparently quite advanced by his reaction."
"What is this about?" I was growing impatient with the two of them talking about some insider knowledge.
Rayzack stepped forward and pointed to a particular name. Ariel Winters. "This was made after a certain incident. There are similar plaques around, but this one is the largest in terms of the number of deaths."
Dead. "Ariel is...dead...?"
"She's a spirit, yes. Her body was...destroyed. You'll learn what happened when you're ready, but now the story would only scare you since you're new to magic. If you ever meet Ariel again, just go along with her. Don't bring up her death. Someone made that mistake once and we almost had to add them to this list."
"Holy shit she's dangerous?! Why don't we get rid of her like we do other demons and crap?"
Rayzack sighed heavily. When it was obvious he wasn't going to answer, Tom spoke. "We've tried. She's too powerful." He looked over at Rayzack for a better explanation.
"Sometimes it's best to leave things alone. It is a human assumption that we must make things best suited for ourselves. In some cases, we should simply accept the presence of things we don't like."
"But what if she kills someone? Are you -"
"She could have easily killed many people. She has not. The only person she's harmed provoked her. If you're curious, you can find recordings of the debate in the library. For now I have to get going." With that, Rayzack brushed a hand against the Memorium before walking off. "And you're doing well so far, by the way," he called back.
"Thanks!" Me and Tom read the plaque in silence until Rayzack was out of site. "He's unusually serious today, isn't he?"
"Well..." Tom looked around for a few second before finding words. "This is something he's passionate about and a lot of people ask him about it. He feels guilty for the lives lost. I think I would, too, considering what happened."
"Are you going to tell me what hell happened?" Again, he started blushing.
"I trust Rayzack's decision. You should wait to find out. ...I'd rather not lose you because there are dangerous things here."
I couldn't help but smile. "Well, I need to get to bed. It's been a long day."
"Yeah. Sweet dreams, Mark." I miss having Tom around.
I sorta botched it when I realized one season wasn't enough to make an animal self sufficient. That was sorta when I went to the realm of fantasy. I had a good idea of where to go... but I was too busy procrastinating.
Yeah, yours has a lot of stuff. The way NYC is written makes it obvious there's a big world there without making it seem like it's withholding lots of stuff- mentions it and moves on, very okay.
The thing is, though, that I'm not sure how it should be: novelish with chapters, a prelude to when stuff happens, a whole bunch of events with an overarching storyline or what. What I do know is that there seems to be a fair amount of time skips, which is okay, although maybe not exactly perfect for something like this. There's a small, albeit noticeable suspension of belief between entires.
This last one started off strange if you haven't read the previous entries, but it was okay enough. Small things:
The use of blushing isn't exactly the best verb to use here. Maybe his face reddened, or he looked flustered. Blushing made it seems like he was embarrassed for the girl or like there is some romance plot or something.
Content wise, it was okay enough. There is obviously a plot developing, particularly linked with the previous entries. I liked how you used the season excuse to get this started. However, maybe the title isn't perfectly fitted for the entry.
Yeah, yours has a lot of stuff. The way NYC is written makes it obvious there's a big world there without making it seem like it's withholding lots of stuff- mentions it and moves on, very okay.
The thing is, though, that I'm not sure how it should be: novelish with chapters, a prelude to when stuff happens, a whole bunch of events with an overarching storyline or what. What I do know is that there seems to be a fair amount of time skips, which is okay, although maybe not exactly perfect for something like this. There's a small, albeit noticeable suspension of belief between entires.
This last one started off strange if you haven't read the previous entries, but it was okay enough. Small things:
The use of blushing isn't exactly the best verb to use here. Maybe his face reddened, or he looked flustered. Blushing made it seems like he was embarrassed for the girl or like there is some romance plot or something.
Content wise, it was okay enough. There is obviously a plot developing, particularly linked with the previous entries. I liked how you used the season excuse to get this started. However, maybe the title isn't perfectly fitted for the entry.
The time issues is definitely something that's bothering me. When I go back and revise this I'm planning on sorting out the timeline a little better. (It's confusing me, too. @_@)
The blushing...you'll have to wait and see. >_> All I'm saying for now is that it's fairly appropriate, although I could change it up a little. The title should have a little bit of meaning later on (in reference to stuff being repeated), but yeah I kind of fudged it a little for the theme lol.
I am scared of the next part of this. You'll basically be watching the "incident" (one of the few sections that won't be through Mark's perspective) and it's...pretty gruesome. But that's for the new theme. :wink:
The blushing...you'll have to wait and see. >_> All I'm saying for now is that it's fairly appropriate, although I could change it up a little. The title should have a little bit of meaning later on (in reference to stuff being repeated), but yeah I kind of fudged it a little for the theme lol.
I am scared of the next part of this. You'll basically be watching the "incident" (one of the few sections that won't be through Mark's perspective) and it's...pretty gruesome. But that's for the new theme. :wink: