militantmilo
Member
I think RPG dialogue (both commercial and amateur) ranks worst in comparison with the other game genres. Below I've written a few helping guidelines on what I think would improve dialogue overall. Don't take them too seriously, as, in the end, all this comes down according to taste. Nevertheless, here's my opinion (I might add more):
1. Avoid using overly obvious expositions.
For those who don’t know: what is an exposition? It is dialogue whereby a character elaborates on some given subject for the benefit of the reader, but which is blatantly obvious to the characters in the story.
EXAMPLE:
Dude 1: Dude, give your report to Major Exposition. He’s the head of our super secret task force, and you can find his office in the left wing of the Administrative Unit.
Dude 2: Dude, I know. I’ve been working here for twenty years.
Nearly every commercial RPG game I’ve played does this, which is probably why a lot of people who make games in the community, don’t hear it as sounding very silly. Exposition is unavoidable, else risk making your story incomprehensible. But try and be subtle about it.
EXAMPLE:
Dude 1: Dude, Major Exposition is going to want to see this report right away. You’ll have to go through the left wing of the Administrative Unit, since security is blocking the east corridors for renovation. I’d complain that he’s overly paranoid, but he’s the boss.
Dude 2: Dude, totally.
2. Try to avoid melodrama.
Now this is more dependant on taste, but it makes me nauseas reading through cheesily written melodrama.
EXAMPLE (this was written by someone in the community. I mean no offense to you, but I thought it was so perfect an example)
Drama Queen: "I shall have neither sleep nor rest until the day when this creature of darkness speaks the words of repent!"
Really, who talks like that? It’s so campy, and if not that, certainly stilted. I’m not saying that you should avoid writing impassioned dialogue, just try not to go over board.
3. Regarding colloquialisms (slang) and proper English.
It is alright to use slang. Why? Because ordinary people use slang. Who uses copasetic English? Not ordinary people.
EXAMPLE:
Surfer 1: Being pragmatic, professionals often reuse blocks of material from previous reports. A good writer can do this well, but a less accomplished writer easily succumbs to a clumsy kind of self-plagiarism.
Surfer 2: Indeed.
Obviously, how much slang is in a character’s dialogue is dependant on that character’s intelligence. One further note, slang is a good way of indicating age. To emphasize a character’s youth, have him use a lot of slang. The opposite is true with the more mature.
4. Regarding profanity.
Again, this is a matter of taste, but I think a little profanity is okay. But, I would stick to the less egregious words like: damn, goddamn, bastard, etc. I’d avoid the following (and all variations thereof): sh*t, b*tch, f*ck. Why? Well, because those last three are very strong and very grave words. And to see a tiny pixilated character saying, “F*ck that motherf*cker b*tch!†in earnest, is really silly.
5. Avoid dialogue repetition.
By this I mean, don’t have a character repeat a statement said by a previous character only reworded into a question:
EXAMPLE:
Woman: A man’s in trouble!
Man: There’s a man in trouble?!
Woman: I just said that.
Man: You just said that?!
It really slows down a scene, so just try to avoid doing this. It’s creating more words to be read without adding any new information.
6. Regarding emotions, avoid being overly theatrical
I think a lot of Japanese made RPGs are overly theatrical when it comes to emotion, especially with regards to dark, gloomy characters. The following is a line from Kingdom Hearts 2.
EXAMPLE:
Guy: I'll get him. This time we settle it. Me, and the one who embodies all the darkness in me.
Clearly, this is much too theatrical. Very, very, very few people would express themselves in these terms. Think about it: if you were confiding to a friend about some trouble you’re having, would you ever tell him that there’s a “darkness†inside you? Try to keep your characters’ emotions grounded on firm terms.
1. Avoid using overly obvious expositions.
For those who don’t know: what is an exposition? It is dialogue whereby a character elaborates on some given subject for the benefit of the reader, but which is blatantly obvious to the characters in the story.
EXAMPLE:
Dude 1: Dude, give your report to Major Exposition. He’s the head of our super secret task force, and you can find his office in the left wing of the Administrative Unit.
Dude 2: Dude, I know. I’ve been working here for twenty years.
Nearly every commercial RPG game I’ve played does this, which is probably why a lot of people who make games in the community, don’t hear it as sounding very silly. Exposition is unavoidable, else risk making your story incomprehensible. But try and be subtle about it.
EXAMPLE:
Dude 1: Dude, Major Exposition is going to want to see this report right away. You’ll have to go through the left wing of the Administrative Unit, since security is blocking the east corridors for renovation. I’d complain that he’s overly paranoid, but he’s the boss.
Dude 2: Dude, totally.
2. Try to avoid melodrama.
Now this is more dependant on taste, but it makes me nauseas reading through cheesily written melodrama.
EXAMPLE (this was written by someone in the community. I mean no offense to you, but I thought it was so perfect an example)
Drama Queen: "I shall have neither sleep nor rest until the day when this creature of darkness speaks the words of repent!"
Really, who talks like that? It’s so campy, and if not that, certainly stilted. I’m not saying that you should avoid writing impassioned dialogue, just try not to go over board.
3. Regarding colloquialisms (slang) and proper English.
It is alright to use slang. Why? Because ordinary people use slang. Who uses copasetic English? Not ordinary people.
EXAMPLE:
Surfer 1: Being pragmatic, professionals often reuse blocks of material from previous reports. A good writer can do this well, but a less accomplished writer easily succumbs to a clumsy kind of self-plagiarism.
Surfer 2: Indeed.
Obviously, how much slang is in a character’s dialogue is dependant on that character’s intelligence. One further note, slang is a good way of indicating age. To emphasize a character’s youth, have him use a lot of slang. The opposite is true with the more mature.
4. Regarding profanity.
Again, this is a matter of taste, but I think a little profanity is okay. But, I would stick to the less egregious words like: damn, goddamn, bastard, etc. I’d avoid the following (and all variations thereof): sh*t, b*tch, f*ck. Why? Well, because those last three are very strong and very grave words. And to see a tiny pixilated character saying, “F*ck that motherf*cker b*tch!†in earnest, is really silly.
5. Avoid dialogue repetition.
By this I mean, don’t have a character repeat a statement said by a previous character only reworded into a question:
EXAMPLE:
Woman: A man’s in trouble!
Man: There’s a man in trouble?!
Woman: I just said that.
Man: You just said that?!
It really slows down a scene, so just try to avoid doing this. It’s creating more words to be read without adding any new information.
6. Regarding emotions, avoid being overly theatrical
I think a lot of Japanese made RPGs are overly theatrical when it comes to emotion, especially with regards to dark, gloomy characters. The following is a line from Kingdom Hearts 2.
EXAMPLE:
Guy: I'll get him. This time we settle it. Me, and the one who embodies all the darkness in me.
Clearly, this is much too theatrical. Very, very, very few people would express themselves in these terms. Think about it: if you were confiding to a friend about some trouble you’re having, would you ever tell him that there’s a “darkness†inside you? Try to keep your characters’ emotions grounded on firm terms.