Alumina

[Bridgeman]

I thought it was about time to create a topic for my project. Behold Alumina.

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Marvin Jones

The main character of the story. He is 18 years old, and is about to become a knight in the beginning of the story. He grew up as an orphan with his little brother Craig, who was brutally beaten to death by knights of the Kingdom of Conia for stealing food from a stand. Ever since that traumatic even, Marvin swore he’d change the way things worked around there. He hides a very dark side to his personality with good will and cheer.

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Jack Mirson

Marvin’s best friend in the knighthood academy. Jack is one of the few who knows about Marvin’s orphan past, and accepts him regardless. Marvin believes that Jack is destined for great things.

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John Revan

A healer in training who is traveling to Sintara to work as a helper in one of its main hospitals. He has a problem with people smoking and cursing too much, but also enjoys life to an amazing degree, believing that life is short and should be enjoyed.

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Lucy Farris

A bandit from the north continent who has started up a band of thieves, taking refuge in Bandits Cove, located to the north of the kingdom of Conia. In her culture, the women are considered inferior to the men. She has always been trying to one up the men in her life by becoming the most powerful being on the planet. When Marvin, a child, is able to beat her, she realizes she has a lot to learn.

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Sierra

A Wolf God who is assigned to make sure that Marvin carries out his destiny. One of the lesser Gods, he sees this task as something handed down as a chore than anything worthwhile. Comes to really enjoy the company of humans throughout the story.

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A thousand years ago, a demon queen by the name of Maive ruled the old kingdom with an iron fist. she resented humanity, and did her utmost to make sure each and every one of them was miserable. Two heroes, Erick and Avion, were able to seal the demon Queen away deep in the earth. they both became kings of two seperate kingdom's on opposite sides of the continent: the kingdom of Conia, and the Kingdom of Sintara. Through the blood ritual of becoming king, they have become ageless and immortal, and live to this day.

In the present, tensions between the two kingdoms are running high. Erick, the king of Conia, sees Avion, the king of Sintara, as a threat who must be eliminated, so he sends the loyal knight, Marvin, to unwittingly assassinate the king with a parchment spell disguised as a peace treaty.

Chapter 1: The Graduation

Open with a dream, Marvin Jones and his younger brother Craig, stealing food from a stand to survive. They are caught, but Marvin gets away, watching from afar as his brother is beaten to death by soldiers. He wakes up, only to find his friend Jack walking toward him, coming to wake him up for their final exam. This exam determines who makes it as a knight, and who doesn’t.

There are three trials in the exam, all of which test the subject on their emotional, mental, and physical durability. At the end of the exam, Marvin must face off with a senior knight.

Immediately after Marvin successfully finishes the exam, we cut to the graduation, where the king, Erick, gives a speech that tells the recruits that although he and the king of Sintara successfully banished the demon queen Maive three thousand years ago, her taint is still marked on the land, in the faces of bandits, monsters, and the evils of humanity, and that it is up to the knights of Conia to ensure that this evil doesn’t get the better of their civilization and way of life.

After the speech, Marvin meets up with his friend Jack, and they go over how well each of them did on the exam, joking around together, giving the impression they have known each other for a good amount of time. Interrupting their conversation, a messenger tells Marvin to go to the king’s private chambers for an unspecified, classified reason.

Once there, the king gives Marvin a classified mission, one that is to be performed only by a loyal knight of Conia. He notes how well Marvin has done in training, and the courage he faced when facing the trials. He hands the hero a rolled up piece of parchment with a royal wax seal enclosing it, telling Marvin it is to make it to king Sintara’s hand personally, for his eyes only, and that no one must read it other than the king. He tells Marvin it is vital for the two kingdom’s union under alliance, and that there are those who do not want to see the kingdom’s united. There are assassins on the main roads, so he hands Marvin an old map of the world, detailing an indirect, incognito path to the kingdom of Sintara.

“It is a dangerous and long road to take. Do you accept?â€

 

[Calibre]

A fairly standard fantasy affair on the surface at least, but you seem to have a decent grasp on what you're doing.

Whilst your mapping isn't "bad" from what I can see, I don't think you've quite got how to fill a room without cluttering or leaving it empty.  People often make rooms too big and then can't fill them. 

Compare the size of his bed to his room, with the size of your bed in your room.  In my room a double bed takes up nearly half of my room.  In your characters room it's something like 1/32 of the room.  The corridor outside the rooms are also completely void of any detail.  Also, should they not have doors rather than gaps in the wall to their rooms?

 

[Bridgeman]

Yeah, I had doors at first. You would walk up to them, they would open, and you would go through. However, it seems to glitch with some other scripts, so I temporarily removed it. I'll find a solution later.

The hallway needs to be that size because otherwise the stairs don't fit in. And the rooms don't seem that large to me. It's also a house in the king's capital town, so houses are bigger then any houses owned by humans who live in villages or simple towns.

And yeah, it may seem like a simple plot for now, but I only posted chapter one because I don't wanna spoil the entire story. It'll get better, I promise.

 

[Calibre]

I didn't say the corridors were too big, I said they were void of any detailing whatsoever.

...And about the rooms, I said if you don't know how to fill them without adding random stuff thrown down then they are too big.  Besides the example I gave, on a tile basis, that bed is genuinely  1/32 of the room space.  Your room is about 8 x 8 or 8 x 9 meaning you have 64 spaces in your room.  The bed consumes 2 tiles.  That's 1/32.  I've visited castles and they're bedrooms aren't THAT big. 

I'm not suggesting they are awful though, not at all... some people just put a 1 tile ceiling trim around a 20 x 15 map and try and fill that.  I'll try and show what I mean... I just think people neglect the ceiling autotile too much.  Most real RPG's have most of their interiors with a lot blacked out too, especially oder RPG's.

There may be mapping errors but I'm talking about the shape and use of the autotile.

http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/6756/roomtf1.png[/img]

 

[Bridgeman]

Yeah, but what kind of detail can you put in a hallway... Can't think of anything.

And yeah, I know what you mean. I'm leaving these rooms like they are, because if I change it I'll also have to change a dozen events again, but I'll try to make the new rooms better.

 

[Calibre]

The same thing anyone else puts in their corridors.  Cabinets, Coat racks, photos, rugs, tools, shoe racks, shelves...  Obviously don't just plot stuff everywhere, make it logical...  It's basically a by-product of having over-sized rooms, they are going to look bare.

 

[Bridgeman]

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Map look better, yes? Want fries with that? LOL, srry xD

Anyway, what do you think? Do I need to add more stuff? Thanks for giving me tips like this.

 

[Calibre]

Ummm... you've made the overall room BIGGER!?

No sorry it looks worse.

Also Rugs don't fit a room perfectly / carpet doesn't have a border against the walls.

Bright Red with Bright Orange = Eye Rape

Those three green book cases = random plotting.  Maybe 1 or 2 but not in Green.

 

[Bridgeman]

I wish I could tell the RTP "I want that and that in that color and that shape", but unfortunately that doesn't work. I'll keep working on it, but it kinda frustrates me.

 

[Calibre]

If you're going to make a whole game visually how you want it you'll need to start doing tiny edits and recolours to parts of tilesets and colours.  It's ever so easy with photoshop or GIMP and they'll be plenty of  tutorials about on how to do this.  The same goes for combining tilesets.

 

[Bridgeman]

It's too much of a pain to make edits for al single rooms...

More screens tomorrow, I'm gonna forget about this for a while ^^

 

[nick5674398]

I really like your story and characters. You will probably hear that the sealed away demon queen is cliche from a few people, but I don't really have a problem with it as long as you give it your own unique twists. And as Calibre said, you should work on your mapping. Try making the rooms smaller, then you won't have to put in as much stuff and it won't look so repeatitive.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

I think your best bet for the maps would be to make the rooms smaller. Reduce the amount of empty space. I used to always make rooms too big as well, and when I look back on those maps now I see how much better they would've looked if only they were smaller.
Good luck, although I automatically hate this project because it uses the same face sets as mine.
...
Heh heh, just joking...
...
*cricket chirps*

I really need experience on my jokes.  :tongue:

 

[Necrile]

Good luck, although I automatically hate this project because it uses the same face sets as mine.

You and 50 fuckbillion other people. Thats the internet for you.

 

[Anglachel]

I was about to mention how the interiors are too big only to see Calibre and Dadestver. It's not so much about filling it up and no need for edits, just make the rooms smaller. They don't need to be big, imagine how large and empty it would seem if you were the character. No offense but huge interiors look, well, n00bish. Change the whole layout of the room if you have to. Look around you house, I don't know about yours but in mine there isn't a whole lot of space and there's stuff everywhere. Even if you ahve a large room and then fill it up with stuff you will be repeating the objects a lot and it might not look very good. I'm only making such a big deal out of this because I used to make the same mistake and they are the only screenshots people have to judge your project on.

The story seems very standard indeed, although what is important is how you develop it and the characters. The dialogue will be crucial. Don't worry if you can't have the best graphics and whatever just do your best to create the game you want. Best of luck
and I hope you get a demo out one day.

Good luck, although I automatically hate this project because it uses the same face sets as mine.

You and 50 fuckbillion other people. Thats the internet for you.

True. I was using them back in the day. It's great to have a lot of facesets already created with different emotions for people to utilise. But of course the more you see them the less special they will seem to be :P

 

[alywaly]

The storyline is fair, and i like the characters.
I don't find it that much cliched
Well done ^-^

 

[boon]

Right now, your mapping is downright appalling. I'll just make a quickie on how to improve it slightly.

 

[alywaly]

Can't wait for the demo ^^
(Although the names could use a touch up)
I'm fine with it... I'll live