Akotash Eye [RESOLVED]

[Naith]

Akotash Eye: The Hidden (Appertize)

Download

Spoiler

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?mvtzmr5wz4z

I want to hear comments for the game story and you may also post corrections for my grammar! Thank you!

Story

Spoiler

In the land of king Kristoph, The guard of the elements, Akotash. The dragon Akotash was attacked by Death(Grim Reaper) But the only thing Death took was Akotash's Eye and the three elements. Death threw them out of the cave with extreme power! Death left the hurted dragon in a dark cave... Soon, a Boy named Stian (Stian is a Norwegian name) walks in the mountains on his daily hunter control. He hear a moan from the cave and goes in to see what it was! Then he saw Akotash! And then it begins, Akotash wants the boy to get back the three elements so Akotash can get his total power back! And then get his eye back! This will be a dagerous mission for Stian, Will he die? You decide!

Characters

Spoiler

Stian
There is currently only one character cuz i havent writen all yet...
He works as a hunter in the mountains... The rock he holds in his hand is the magic rock Akotash gave him so he could use magic powers.

Gameplay

Spoiler

I use RMXP's boring but ok battlesystem. I got BlizzABS but i wont use it in this game...
You play as Stian. His a hunter. Your job is to gather three elements Ice, Fire and Water. Then Akotash will get you to Hell were you can find Akotash Eye and save the world!

Screenshots (Game is not done yet so it will be from the teaser)

Spoiler

So if you want to download an try my teaser, my mapping skills isent hurting as they were before.

I got to credit to UltimaEpica for making the title screen bgm i use!
The title screen my be changed, when full game is complete!

 

[Luminier]

sorry kiddo, but you're gonna have to put up a bit more info than this. read the rules and fix up with all the correct info. you need more info on your story, some stuff on your characters, the gameplay, and at least three screenshots. please udpate your post soon. thanks

 

[Naith]

ok, i will put some more...wait for update please!

 

[Naith]

Update!

 

[Luminier]

did you miss half of my post?

sorry kiddo, but you're gonna have to put up a bit more info than this. read the rules and fix up with all the correct info. you need more info on your story, some stuff on your characters, the gameplay, and at least three screenshots. please udpate your post soon. thanks

also theres no need to post saying you've updated so soon after another post. just edit in the info

 

[Naith]

lol, sorry! omfg i forgot!

 

[Naith]

Are noone going to reply?

 

[gonewind]

Feeling sorry for him ^^
+1 for my reply.

Well, it's the good old save the world, dragons and wasabi thingy. It could have been decent at the very least (generic, though...), but your storytelling is just wrong. You even said it yourself, you talk too much (the irony), and you repeat yourself too much. You also can't seem to decide on the level of your story- the characters seem stupid and immature, but it doesn't seem like you intended to make a satire.
In my opinion, the music you chose doesn't seem to fit well for most of the time (even though I liked th dragon roar), and your mapping is so so.
No play time, it seems (disapointed -__-).
Ah, also, I advice you to change "death" into the "Grim Reaper" in the game.
Good luck ^^

 

[Naith]

OK. Thx for replying...


one thing.... Can you please say something about the grammar? i really need response to that...

 

[gonewind]

I don't think I'm your best option for that, since I'm not a native English speaker myself.
Just ask someone you trust to help you with that ^^