After 16 years.... what do I do?

[Mikee]

Wow.

So, I just got home from work this morning. Checked my email, checked .org, then checked MySpace. I had a friend request waiting for me. A guy named Michael. I naturally clicked the profile to see why he was adding me. I mean, he was at least forty by the looks of his profile picture. So I'm reading through his interests, trying to decide why he's added me. He likes writing, computers, video games, guitar, singing, and recording music. Oh. This is why he added me. We have shit in common. But still.. The guy has 3 friends total, one is Tom, and he's 40. Pedophile? Much.

Then I read his name.

Michael Craggs. My last name is Kocha. But only because my dad walked out on my mom and I when I was two, so I took my grandpa's name. My dad is Mike Craggs.

.... So what do I do? He didn't write any message or anything to me. Just a fucking myspace friend request. The bastard hasn't seen me since I was 7. 13 years ago. And the last time he even tried to support me, or my mom, was when I was 4. It's been 16 years since he's cared about anything I do. And you know what? He has proud parent written on his profile. He's had two kids since me. And he didn't walk on them.

So really. What the hell? Is this his way of feeling better that he fucked us over? He wants to be fucking myspace buddies now? Should I tell him to fuck off, should I even say anything? Should I accept it!? I'd hate to ruin an opportunity just because I'm irrational. I mean... I understand why he did it. He had good reason. He was in a band, he was 20 years old. I'm 20 years old. I wouldn't want a kid right now. In fact... I just joined a band. We're too much alike already... and he hasn't even been in my life. I don't know what to do here....

 

[Dissonance]

Stop being a fucking faggot and go see him. Don't go in and be like "HEH U LEFT ME U SUCK FUCK U" you just admitted yourself that you're the age he was and wouldn't want to be in the situation so how can you possibly blame him for leaving without being a hypocrite? Parents aren't superheroes, they're people too.

If you go in with any sense of self-entitlement or righteousness then imo you don't even deserve to see him.

 

[tofurkey]

Diss is 100% right here. Obviously you should accept his request, but don't just leave it at that because that would be pointless. Ask him where he lives now if he doesn't live close to you. Go visit him or meet up with him somewhere neutral. Has your mom remarried? Would she care that you're doing this?

The fact that you're already trying to rationalize why he would've done what he did is already a sign that you've gotten over it and are willing to give him a chance. So do it. No harm, no foul. Maybe he's actually a pretty cool guy now that he's had some time to grow up.

 

[Cruelty]

ask him for money. if he refuses then he might actually be a cool dude.

 

[Venetia]

I would never allow myself to even CARE about someone who skipped out on me of their own accord (i.e. my own real-father was like this as well--though he died in 2000 so it's not like I would have gotten the chance anyway). However I'm a fairly bitter person about people who've wronged me.

People are people, right. And just because he shot some sperm at your mom all those years ago doesn't mean that he should be placed on a higher pedestal than anyone else who shits on you.

However you are likely very different from me, and you would feel remorseful for never seeing him. If you feel like it would be a large regret for never meeting him, then you owe it to yourself (i.e. NOT HIM) to see him. He obviously never felt that he owed you anything, so don't go into it expecting it, or, even worse, feeling like you owe HIM something.

 

[JoshieBoy]

My dad left me too when I was 2 years old, my mom when I was 6, so I can relate to you. I have a right to hate his guts, but at the same time I would want to know what he is like. A boys goal in life is to surpass his father, how can I do that if I have no idea who he is? You know? So I would talk to him. Even though the thought of his ignorance infuriates you. Find out who he is and, if you don't like him, you don't ever have to see him again. You need to let out your bottled emotions, before they come out when you least expect it. Good luck though, I would want someone in my corner if I were going to face my dad, so GOOD LUCK MIKEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

edit:I would be pissed to if I had siblings that I didn't know about too. I am seriously worried about you Mikee. Good luck, I am rooting for you.

 

[Dissonance]

addendum: you're a fucking moron irregardless, and here's why

He likes writing, computers, video games, guitar, singing, and recording music. Oh. This is why he added me. We have shit in common. But still.. The guy has 3 friends total, one is Tom, and he's 40. Pedophile? Much.

....

I'm 20 years old.

Why the fuck did you initially assume he's a pedo? By your own admission, you're 20 years old, and (considering that you're implying that his reason for adding you is that he wants to have sex with you) sex between a 40 year old and a 20 year old isn't pedophilia and it isn't illegal. Because his friends list is small and he adds people with the same tastes in things, he somehow deserves a 'pedo' label as your initial reaction, instead of the infinately more reasonable and LEGAL "gay guy looking for companionship" or something?

Man you're dumb. :|

 

[Mikee]

addendum: you're a fucking moron irregardless, and here's why

He likes writing, computers, video games, guitar, singing, and recording music. Oh. This is why he added me. We have shit in common. But still.. The guy has 3 friends total, one is Tom, and he's 40. Pedophile? Much.

....

I'm 20 years old.

Why the fuck did you initially assume he's a pedo? By your own admission, you're 20 years old, and (considering that you're implying that his reason for adding you is that he wants to have sex with you) sex between a 40 year old and a 20 year old isn't pedophilia and it isn't illegal. Because his friends list is small and he adds people with the same tastes in things, he somehow deserves a 'pedo' label as your initial reaction, instead of the infinately more reasonable and LEGAL "gay guy looking for companionship" or something?

Man you're dumb. :|

Wow. FUCK YOU. It's no wonder they won't make you a moderator. You're the biggest douche bag this site's ever seen. Excuse me for being a little pissed. But you automatically assumed I was a "faggot" in the first post. So why don't you go fuck yourself in the corner and get the hell out of my thread. I think I have plenty of people giving me good advice, and I don't need your shit on top of it.

Fucking "faggot".

Thanks.

Hi, this is flaming. Don't do it, it is not nice. Enjoy your warning.
-Luminier

 

[Surmuck]

Hi guys,
I guess this thread never had the moral capacity to remain civil. So I'm locking it.

Mikee, good luck with your father.