A little poem for my game

[9robin3]

This is a poem I wrote for my very philosophical RMXP game, Tree Soul Kingdom:

"Waking up when the birds whisper your name
To another day in your life
Feeling almost the same
Without a wonderful wife
But if you go outside
If you find your friends
You will go away on a ride
A ride that never ends
This is the adventure of life
It will go on for a long time
And you will find a wife
So just relax and eat a lime
Enjoy life, or else you will become old
Enjoy life, and fight against the cold."

Say what you think please^^ I just wanna share it, really

 

[moog]

close, dude, but if this is supposed to be a sonnet, check the stanza; each line should be in iambic pentameter, if I recall correctly. Make sure each line is 10 syallbles, 1 unstressed and 1 stressed repeated 5 times. The first line is written well, but then it falls short. the rhythmic portion is nice though.

I get the point of this, but it doesnt seem overly philosophical.

 

[9robin3]

Ok sorry, it isnt really a sonnet, but a poem. It was a thing in school and you were supposed to write a sonnet, and concentrate on the rhyme part, and 14 lines.

So no, just a poem more, really