A.D.D. :)

[bacon]

Attention Deficit Disorder

Spoiler: A.D.D.

“One of the main topics I would like to point out about this book ...”

Book…
Look…
Mirror…
Reflection…
Sea…

I love the sea.
It fills me with glee
when the water wets my feet
where the land and ocean meet.
It is also so much fun.
I could compare the amount to none
And as I swim deeper and deeper
I always seem to notice …

Focus



“The character goes through many obstacles…”

Obstacles…
Course…
Class…
Chalkboard…
Drawing…

I have always loved to draw
and I’m always struck in awe
to see what I can create
when pen and paper mate.
It always seems to pass the time
where the amount of boredom should be a crime.
I doodle, I sketch, I paint, I color.
Just the other day I…

Focus



“He has perplexing situations he has to solve…”

Solve
Riddle
Batman
Darkness
Night

I love the night
it does not fright.
Night is like a dark black veil
all it has ever done is conceal
the new life that rises when the old
goes to sleep to the night’s hold
of our shining and so bright sun.
There is so much that…

Focus



“Now the main character goes through many changes…”

Change
Arrange
Decorating
Christmas tree
Holidays

I have always loved the holidays
but many seem to be a haze.
Since everything seem to go so wrong,
they stop my life from moving smoothly along.
An example, on Easter I was attacked by a dog.
That incident has kept that holiday in a fog.
My mind tries to block the bloody pain.
And the hospital trip was…

Focus


“And that is what I think about the character.”

<3

 

[KuidonNZ]

I liked it,
It cheered me up some how too, good work.

And in all honesty, its the kind of thing I wish I could write,
(as in I wish I could write that well), but I cant.

 

[Damaris]

I get it, but I don't get it... I was diagnosed with ADHD (Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) when I was a child but perhaps that is a little different. I think it's good but I am a little lost on the "Deeper meaning"? Simply that its difficult to focus? It's a good poem and I think the literal simplicity in terms of its rhyming scheme is one of its most beneficial factors. The underlying concept is consistent and subtle however I don't feel it's very easily related - I think that if someone had to read it without reading the title, or understanding the condition of ADD - the point of the poem would be entirely lost. It wouldn't be difficult to get published and who knows - it may be taken to warmly.

 

[Velocir_X]

Lol, reminds me a lot of what goes on in my head when I'm working on my game...

Anyway nice work becoolioman :thumb:
I would suggest publishing it too - reminds me a lot of the work of Jack Prelutski - and he's rich

 

[bacon]

Yes, people who dont understand what ADD is will be completely lost. Most people understand what ADD is though or at least a basic meaning or concept.

 

[Glitchfinder]

Hmm. How to put this...? I've Had ADHD for most of my life, and, although I can understand the point of this, I don't think you actually captured it. Just because someone has ADD or ADHD does not mean that they're mind will wander like a wayward child in a candy shop. In fact, the only things that really cause the mind to wander, in many cases, are things that the person with ADD or ADHD finds uninteresting or boring. Even then, you can usually focus on a boring lesson for longer than a single line.

Despite this, the poem is well written, and might be published if you take it to the right places. *Insert Chicken Soup joke here*

 

[dadevvtsvre]

Just change the title and that will make it a lot better so you don't have to relate it to ADD at all. Something like "Focus" or "Concentration". Other than that, I like it! It's got lots of charm and has a nice light tone to it. Some of the wording (the parts in quotation marks) is a little awkward, though. Things like "The character goes through many obstacles" don't seem like the kind of things I'd hear a teacher (assuming it is a teacher) say. Doesn't sound very natural to me, idk.

 

[aphadeon]

I like the poem, and have no qualms over the title. Please realize that ADD and ADHD are two completely different syndromes. ADHD would be a more accurate description for what you have depicted here. It may be exaggerated, but many of the finer arts in life truly are. An oral report would likely be boring. @glitchfinder: again, exaggerated. Nothing wrong with exercising the liberties that define art.

Good work. As a published author myself, I can tell you this would be published without a doubt. I'd recommend Poetry.com as a starting point. Post it here, in two parts if you must. It'll be picked up and added to a collection within 60 days. They do this for every decent piece to come through. You'll have the option to buy a plaque, this is up to you, just a marketing scheme on their end. What this also does is mention to a prospective publisher that your work is "as featured in the Poetry.com Collaborative Collection of 2009." Small mention, but doesn't hurt.

If you have any questions about the process itself, and are seriously interested, let me know. I have some contacts that can help you.

Also, it's not a teacher, it's a student. The teacher grades the book reports, doesn't give them [if I'm wrong, my apologies.]

 

[bacon]

Thank you so much everyone.

Theory = Thank you again. I shall check that out and PM you any questions I may have. And yes, it is a student, not a teacher.

 

[dadevvtsvre]

I'd recommend Poetry.com as a starting point.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!!

NEVER submit a poem to poetry.com. It's a scam. They'll accept every poem you submit and send you a letter saying how wonderful and great your poem is, no matter how much it may suck. They'll tell you to send them cash so they can publish your work in a collection, which you never receive. It's a scam to get you to send them more and more money for stuff that you'll never get or is of low quality. I almost did this once. You can read up about it online.

If you're really interested in publishing then it's probably much easier (and cheaper!) to self-publish. Be extremely careful with these online poetry contests. Many of them are scams.

 

[aphadeon]

lol yes, it is a scam. I'm saying that as long as he refuses to pay, this scam can work in his favor.

They publish the poem regardless- they just try to sell you a copy of the collection for some insanely high amount of money.

Don't buy *anything*, it's really not worth it. That said, yes, read up and reach your own decision. I was just saying that it got me started.

 

[Glitchfinder]

lol yes, it is a scam. I'm saying that as long as he refuses to pay, this scam can work in his favor.

They publish the poem regardless- they just try to sell you a copy of the collection for some insanely high amount of money.

Don't buy *anything*, it's really not worth it. That said, yes, read up and reach your own decision. I was just saying that it got me started.

Actually, don't even submit it. They don't publish the poems. I checked it out. In a list of books they claimed they had published when they replied to a shitty piece of poetry that I submitted, I found only one on Amazon, and that was by a different author and was about a different subject.

 

[aphadeon]

Good to know. I stand corrected- my apologies.
Send me a PM though- I'd still be happy to help.